Destruction is Imminent

Oh... today was just one of those days.

We had a great morning, I ran, went to math groups, got home to hugs from the boys, then we went off to women's study group. The boys went to the play room, I went to learn about Isaiah. Rough subject, but we have a teacher who really L-O-V-E-S Isaiah. Today we talked about his children (sons, because daughters are never mentioned in scripture...don't get me started.) and the symbolism of their names. Isaiah's second son was named for a prophecy regarding the destruction of Israel by Assyria. Basically it boils down to this... the Lord tells Isaiah, the Assyrians are coming, I'm going to help them, they won't get Jerusalem because the king is a good man...Destruction is imminent. Oh and by the way... Please see/know your wife now and name your child after this prophecy. Maher-shalal-hash-baz. Interesting lesson... took lots of notes. I was thinking that it would make a great t-shirt for toddlers, just the Hebrew name.

The boys ask me for rolly-pollies on the way home for lunch. For those not versed in Bergholm kid, they were asking for ravioli. WOW! Not McDonald's! So we head home, I start the water to boil, and chaos ensues...

First Liam pulls a chair up to the stove to see what is going on. My new parenting philosophy is this "whatever keeps you from screaming, kid." I standing right next to him and I'm telling him HOT, HOT, HOT! (and making lemonade from scratch, because we are out of juice.) Then Anders starts in on a "project". He is going to hang up the art work from school on the fridge and he needs tape. So I'm an octopus...Here's more tape, don't touch the stove, don't touch the fruit, don't squeeze the fruit... don't throw the fruit... More tape... Oops! Tape is twisted, let me fix that...

"Mama, HOT!!!" I smell skin burning. Liam has finally touched the burner. He is NOT crying... I get him to the sink, pulling the chair behind me with my foot, he is still not crying. I turn on the water and for the first time EVER, he won't put his hand into running water. The burn is only the very tip of his finger, but it's already a blister. So I fill up a glass with cold water and he puts his hand right in.

Because Liam's on a chair, automatically means Anders need to join him, so the pushing ensues and the GLASS glass falls into the sink breaking the dishes it falls on. LOVELY... Crying kids, burnt finger, pasta on the stove... So I clean up the glass debris. Drain the pasta, serve lunch... Calm...

"I need POOH!" Liam starts in. So seeing that he is done eating his lunch, I turn on Pooh. The VCR heads need to be cleaned. I start digging around for the tape, find it and proceed to clean the heads. Liam is screaming at this point "POOH! NO OTHER MOVIE! POOH..." Finally the heads are clean (after two runs of the cleaner.) and I hear right behind me, gag, gag, gag, splat. Anders has been choking on a rolly-poly, and has thankfully gotten it up, along with most of his lunch.

"My juice comed out!" Sob, sob, sob... and he had tried to catch it with his hands. Then he notices that it's on his hands and the flapping starts. The slow motion "NOOOO" starts out of my mouth and I'm running for towels, wet wipes, anything... Flap, flap, flap... Barf everywhere.

I get that mess cleaned up...Anders calmed down, and changed into clean clothes, and realize Liam is way too quiet.

He is completely asleep right in front of the TV. Just inches from the place were Anders just puked. Maybe five minutes into POOH.

I put Liam in bed, carried Anders and Pooh into my bedroom, (with barf bowl) put Pooh into my TV, and crawled into my bed next to him. I pulled the covers over my head and took a nap. Anders watched Pooh.

38 minutes from the time we walked through the door.

Maher-shalal-hash-baz...