Happy, Happy...

Me and Math...

2011-10-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

I'll be totally honest, I hate math. I'm handicapped. Not stupid... just slow when it comes to numbers. I'd like to think I'm just more creative than the rest of the world.

One of the things I love to do is keep track of the miles I run. I write the mileage of each run onto the box that my current running shoes come in. The list starts out with the date I purchased the shoes on then proceeds to march down the box, in a nice tidy row. I also write where I ran and sometimes with whom and my time if I like it. At the end of the month, I tally up the miles and, Voila! My favorite number of the day! It brings me SUCH satisfaction.

This month it was time for a new pair of shoes mid way through. I retired the old pair, which means totaling out the entire list of numbers (I use a calculator for this) and breaking the numbers into three different categories. Total for each month, and total over all mileage, number of days run and days rested. For the most part I need a fairly accurate number so I know when to buy new shoes.

This last month has been phenomenal! (If I do say so myself!) Record breaking, or so I thought. I added up all my numbers, making sure to add in tomorrow's miles because, unless I die over night, I'm running 8 in the morning and that brings my total miles run for October to 150 miles! I'm thrilled! That's 21 days of running, 10 rest days. I decide to compare that with last months figures. I pull out that box from the closet and SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS! I ran 5 miles more last month in one less day. My inner Miss Clavel speaks "Something is not right!"

I get the calculator out and run those numbers again...

All I can say is this, I have a handicap. I have NO IDEA how I got that number, and I still have about 40 miles I can run in my last pair of shoes, regardless of how they make my feet ache.

Looking on the bright side, it's a little like getting a late birthday present...

My Alternate Reality...

2011-10-24T16:07:00.000-07:00

I am not a silly woman, nor am I a dumb blond. However, I've noticed that I have started doing really stupid things. The following story is just an example...

I use my phone for just about everything, calendar, alarm clock, music, movies etc... Every night I set the alarm labeled (I'm in now way kidding) "GET UP AND RUN". Usually it's set for somewhere between 4 AM and 6 AM. Some mornings I hop right out of bed and get going. Other mornings I hit snooze. This morning was not a hop up morning, and not a snooze morning it was a...something in between morning. Here's how the scenario plays out...

Beep beep beep... fumble, fumble, fumble...finally off. I tapped the off button probably six times, and finally that obnoxious noise stops.

Mr. Bergholm says, more to his pillow than to me,"You are not going running. It's pouring down rain."

I say " I don't hear rain, you're just hearing the fan."

He says " Nope, I can hear it falling on the roof."

I say "It can't be raining, my phone said it would be clear."

Mr Bergholm "It's raining..."

At this point I sit up and hit the Weather Channel app and shove it into his face (bright light and all) and say " See!?! Clear! It's not raining... the little moon doesn't have clouds on it!"

He says " Honey... get up...out of bed and look outside."

I huff, throw the covers off and leave my warm bed. I'm muttering to myself the whole way down the stairs 'I'm going to prove you wrong buddy and your gonna have 10 minute to find your running gear and your coming outside, in the clear night, to run with me, just because my phone is right, and so am I!'

I open the front door to rain...pouring rain. Not just a drizzle, POURING RAIN. Mr. Bergholm was right, not my super phone. I was stunned, amazed...flabbergasted. I opened the Weather Channel app and there it was...a bright moon with no clouds covering it, with a big 44 degrees right under it. I go to the next page, where it shows the hourly weather. There it is again, a big beautiful moon...no clouds. I look up and out the door and there is STILL rain pouring out of the sky.

I re-set my alarm, walk up my stairs, crawl back into bed and say nothing. Mr. Bergholm has the covers over his head. No comment from him. Oh, he was not asleep...he was not giggling...he was probably wondering where his smart wife went and who was this dumb chick in bed with him!

Maybe I ought to leave the weather forecasting to the old American Indian method..."If the rock is wet...it's raining."

P.S. When I woke up one hour later and walked out of the house to go to the gym to see my Personal Trainer, there was not a cloud in the sky...stars everywhere, and it was colder than 44 degrees.

Grocery List

2011-10-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Thursday, I went for a quick trip to the grocery store with child number three. Just us two...ALMOST grocery store bliss. Here is a copy of my list:

Fruit
Veg
Chocolate Milk
Snickers Bar (use free coupon)
GU (buy case)

That was the whole list. 2 different stores. You can't buy a case of Chocolate Outrage GU at the regular grocery store. That you get at REI.

I just pulled the list out of the car with my trash and had to laugh. If I had, perchance, picked up a cart with that list still stuck to it, I would automatically assume that that person was a runner. Those are all the things you need before, during, and after a long run. Heaven knows that you certainly carb load with good carbs the whole week before the big run. Drink chocolate milk right after as a recovery drink. Squeeze in a GU every 40 minutes during, and inhale a big ole' Snickers bar as a reward for pushing yourself that hard. It's all perfectly thought out and a formula that works great for me.

I'm glad I didn't leave it on the cart. Because if a stranger doesn't know that formula, it just doesn't look that great. One's shopping list says a lot about one to others.

Things I Wish I Could Do

2011-09-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

(Honestly, right now I wish I could go to bed...HOWEVER...it's EONS away and I'm overdue for a post.)

Here it is...

THINGS I WISH I COULD DO...

1. Read a book without falling asleep
2. Clean a room like Mary Poppins...been practicing my finger snap, and no luck.
3. Attend school at Hogwarts. Just so you're aware, I would NOT do well in potions.
4. Write a book that would become a favorite in every language...a la Jane Austin
5. Date The Count (yes from Sesame Street)
6. Be a Roadie for a REAL band, like Led Zeppelin, or AC/DC
7. Finish the College degree I started a million years ago in Art History (when I was young and foolish) and get a job that didn't pay less than a Batista at Starbucks. (They get pretty good Benefits by the way.)
8. Get a Camaro...a CLASSIC Camaro, you can get car seats in the back of a Classic Camaro.
9. Speak Italian... beyond, 'Prego' and 'pronto', which ARE real Italian words. Added to that I'd like to be able to eat carbs without filling out in my middle section.
10. Meet Joseph Smith, have a chat... HECK if I'm meeting famous dead people add Lincoln, Regan, Jane Austin and Elizabeth I to the list. I'll bring the finger sandwiches.
11. Get wings tattooed on my feet, in white ink.
12. Run faster... Olympian fast...Gold medal fast..win the prize money fast.

This is in no way a pity party, if it started to sound like one... Just things I think about from time to time. Mostly when I'm sitting waiting for the bus, or folding laundry or walking home from school, or grocery shopping, (because we all know how painful it is to fork out $150 bucks for stuff we can't wear). My 'me' time mind wanderings. I think I must not be alone in these adventures. Do all Stay-at- home Mom's have this list? I bet we do.

Don't Pass Out...

2011-09-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

Dearest MOMMY,

I'm so far behind on my Mother's day gift I'm not sure what to do. Sorry Mom! Hope your not holding your breath... Bad child that I am...you'll probably die from it. I've even had some good ideas lately about blog posts. The sad fact is this...I can't even remember to get Elley to her piano lessons, let alone remember what I was thinking about 15 minutes ago in the grocery store to blog about! Please know I've stuffed post-it notes into my purse (good luck finding those EVER AGAIN!) to write stuff down on, and I've made a half-year resolution to start writing again, again...

PLEASE, please start breathing again. I promise to do better.

Love your Bad Kid,
Kate

PS...Nothing new and exciting is happening here anyhow...(LOL, SNORT, sigh...)

For All of the Times I Wish I'd Had a Camera...

2011-06-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

I don't take many pictures. I probably could take really great pictures if I tried, I just don't have the desire to constantly be whipping a camera out to document my life. I am however married to the "Picture Nazi". Every photo is staged, thought out, planned, scrutinized...re-shot until it's perfect. This is the only reason I have any pictures of my kids. Thank you Mr. Bergholm. I mean this most sincerely.

Our number three child makes me wish I had a camera in my pocket all the time. (I conveniently forget about the camera in my phone. Really it's an OK camera, but it doesn't have gadgets, which truth be told, is my weakness.) I'm going to set the picture up for you in words...maybe that will be better, because I'll think those words out, scrutinize, plan, and re-shot until I get it perfect and hopefully you'll be able to see the picture I would have shot, had I had that camera in my pocket.

PICTURE THIS....We are walking on a beautiful sunny Seattle afternoon on the trails that surround our home. The light is green, because we live in a rain forest, and filtered through the tall trees. All three kids are running on the path ahead of us ducking in and out of the forest on either side of the path to jump out and scare us and each other. Liam is falling behind, slowly, slowly, slowly... he can't run and hold the great stick he has found that is the perfect height for him to use as a walking stick in one hand while trying to hold up his ten pound cargo pocketed shorts, with the other. His shorts are filled with big rocks from the storm water pond, little rocks from the path, full blades of grass, with the roots still on , and a few little sticks that we are "going to NEED to pack in the car and take to Lake Powell with us to start a fire". Every pocket is used, every treasure picked up. His shorts, which fit under normal circumstances are falling down around his legs as he tries to keep up with Elley and Anders, who are much older, and faster.

We suggest, "drop the stick."

"No!"

"Empty your pockets."

"No!" (this is where you get the dialogue about needing those rocks "just in case a crocodile comes out." )

On he runs, not fully frustrated yet, but trying so hard to maintain a good pace. Yelling ahead to his brother and sister to "wait for me!" At which point he stops and turns his dirty little face in our direction, smiles his sweetest innocent smile and laughingly says, "Mom! Look! I'm at Butt Crack Junction!" while wiggling his quickly-becoming-naked-butt in my direction. That is when I would have snapped the picture. While his little sense of humor was glowing, and his smile was as bright as the sun, and his little moon was just beginning to peek out.

Cameras are overrated.

An Open Letter to First-Time Mothers

2011-05-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

Last night we got out a video that was all footage of the first year of our first child's life. I remembered as I sat and watched, how for that first year I could barely breathe. I was so worried that I was going to mess up so badly that she would eventually be a teen pregnancy statistic , or do all sorts of illegal drugs in High School, start ditching school in Junior High...you name it, the thought passed through my mind. That, on top of not sleeping and forcing that baby to breast feed, because it was "best for baby". (And in not considering WHAT actually was best for baby, practically starved her, because I never did produce enough milk, and she was having allergic reactions to what I ate.) I was a mess.

Oddly enough, in those videos you couldn't really tell. Thankfully.

What I could tell, however, was that she was happy, despite being hungry, and sleep deprived. She knew that she was loved, and that our entire world revolved around her. She was totally content.

I watched a movie the night before this home video experience in which the mother, played by Jamie Lee Curtis, is explaining to her grown daughter, that babies don't come with instructions, and it's just a big guessing game with each child, and sometimes you just do your best to set a good example, and then pray for the best result.

I wish I'd have believed that when she was a baby. I wish I'd have enjoyed every little moment. (Probably not possible, because she just didn't sleep, and there isn't much you can do about that. ) I wish I would have known that I could have asked for help, and that wasn't a sign of weakness, or that other more experienced mothers wouldn't think I was a "Bad Mother". I guess what I really wish I'd know is that eventually you just stop caring about what other people think of your ability to be a good parent. Because truth be told, they are just as worried about what their world looks like to everybody else, and that we are all just trying to get by without losing one child to the big bad monsters of the world, and we all go about it differently.

Fast forward 12 years. Number one child is a lovely, talented, well rounded young woman and I'm a different Mother. Thank goodness for two more children who came to help me understand that babies aren't as fragile as we think. If you don't breast feed they probably won't break curfew and get arrested in High School, and if they do wander off of the path you've set them on, it's probably not something you did wrong in the first years of their lives. It's a choice they are making for themselves. Really, really all we can do as Mothers, is teach them to do right, set a good example and pray for the best results.

I Prayed For This...

2011-05-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

I've been paying a personal trainer for a couple of years. Three I think. I've changed trainers one time, so a year and a half with each trainer. Both very good. I do this because I'm not a creative gym go-er, and because I'm not about to do 5000 squats on my own. Occasionally I'll put together a work out for myself, but there is just something about having someone else do the coaching, and prodding. Often, my cute trainer (and I say cute like little brother cute) comes up with an exercise that KILLS me. During the course of the exercise, I will start chanting, "I paid for this, I paid for this, I paid for this..." Scott usually laughs maniacally, and says something like "only 1000 more to go, your doing great! Dig deep! Keep it up!"

I write about this because I'm seeing a parallel in my life. Spiritual Training through Motherhood. I have One Personal Trainer and three junior apprentice trainers. I get an amazing work out with my three junior apprentice trainers; every day. Except they don't do really well with the words of encouragement. Mostly it's all about the breaking me until I'm so worn out that I'm ready to cry. It's those moments that I have to remind myself "I prayed for this, I prayed for this, I prayed for this..." I'd compare it to spiritual prison camp, but maybe that's going a bit too far. Maybe spiritual boot camp...

Thankfully, I do have moments where my One Personal Trainer shouts down from on high with words of encouragement, or at least a small break from the madness before it starts up again. "You're doing a good job! Try the exercise this way it might work better, or move your feet to this spot, and you'll get a better result. Dig Deep, keep it up!" It's those moments when I feel like the training is worth it, and I remind myself that "I prayed for this, I prayed for this, I prayed for this."

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

In my efforts to be a good and kind, loving person I often fall short. Here is an example....I missed Mother's Day. I'm apologizing publicly to my Mother for failing to send a card, or to call. I don't have a good excuse except that I was recovering from running a half-marathon the day before and was caught up in my own activities. LAME EXCUSE...I know, but there you have it.

I've been thinking about what I could do for my Mother that would make up for my extreme lameness, and what I came up with is this...One blog entry a week for the year. She has been hinting that she misses me, and my blog.

So week one, and I'm sorry it's so short Ma, I'm trying to get dinner on, and get to Stake Conference, and Mr. Bergholm is out of town, so I'm flying solo...the timer is going off to get the pizza out of the oven, Anders is screaming because he just fell down, and Liam is probably off somewhere free peeing, or drawing on the wall...

I love you MOM. Happy Mother's Day.

Once a Runner

2010-11-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

Stockholm Syndrome

I just had bladder surgery. It's been an incredible, eye opening experience for me in just how whiny I am. I'm kind of amazed that Heavenly Father hasn't struck me down with lightening, or a car for that matter...

This is something that I've need to be taken care of for YEARS. I'm talking since childhood, and please know how very happy I am that medical science has come so far so that I could get my bladder fixed with out much fuss, without an extended hospital stay, with no more than 6 stitches. (That I can see.) With no more pain than 3 days worth and cured with Advil for the most part.

Easy Pee-zy! (pun intended)

So why the whiny? I have essentially a new body part. It has to learn to become part of my body community, scar in so to speak. So as part of the assimilation process, I can't run, can't lift anything heavier than 10 pounds, can't do yoga, squats, jump, cough too much, do the Physical Therapy I need for my leg injury, can't help my children sled, or even pick out my turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. I can't vacuum my house or put my Christmas tree up. Basically if it requires bending, lifting, moving fast etc...I can't do it. I'm trying to be very diligent because almost half of these surgeries don't work, and I'm trying to do all I can to make this work.

What has been particularly hard on me is the lack of running. My entire life revolves around my morning run. Every day but Sunday. I get up at 4 the morning, one hour earlier than my run time so that I can take my asthma medication, and an Advil. Read my scriptures, say my prayers and eat a little breakfast, so that I can(finally) go outside and run, and run faster, and run stronger. (And breathe and meditate, and think, and breathe, and focus, and plan, and enjoy, and breathe...) It is for me more effective than any drug a doctor could prescribe to help handle my depression and my inability to focus my mind. It quite literally does for me what I can't do on my own. That being said...I have to abstain for 6 weeks. Needless to say, I'm not getting up at 4 am to read my scriptures, OR pray. I'm rolling out of bed later, and later each day because the one thing I CAN do is walk on a tread mill, slowly. It is just not enough, or the same, and it's just not something I want to do. Need to do is not something that crosses my mind.

This is were the eyeopening part of this experience come into play. What a selfish child I am and NO WONDER Heavenly Father sends me trials! I've blogged before about how I don't rest well, and it is evident this time around that I don't. I've been trying to open my scriptures more, and I've definitely been praying, but I think the nature of those prayers needs to change. I've also been trying to think of things I'm thankful for everyday. Sometimes that is so hard especially when under the dark clouds of winter and depression.

Here is the end of this sad post, and hopefully some redemption...Two things I'm VERY thankful for that will keep me going everyday for three more weeks. Once a runner, always a runner, I know the day I'm released I'll be right back on the track working on a personal best. (Please let me never lose a leg. Thoughts for another posts.) AND, second, I can sneeze with a very full bladder without peeing my pants!

Maybe the time will go faster now.

Liam's Pirate Boggie! Day 2: At Butt Crack Junction

2010-11-02T07:36:00.000-07:00

So just a little more Liam. I swear I have more kids but he takes the cake, hence the reason for the sharing...

Enjoy this little window into the dance studio that is our home.

How Liam Steals the Show

2010-11-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

I just found this going through the Halloween Pictures. I believe this was while I was upstairs helping Elleory with her costume, and putting mine on. I've been trying for WEEKS to get Liam to dance for the camera, and here it is folks...The Pirate Boogie.

Liam...

2010-07-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

Scissors...

HAIR...

AGAIN...

Need I say more?

THE Briar Patch

2010-07-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

We are at my parents home visiting for a couple of weeks. I get so excited about the littlest things about being home. Weeding a garden, (I hated this as a kid) getting a chore from my Dad, (also not a childhood favorite) mowing fields, (this has become exponentially cooler as an adult, and with the introduction of the riding lawn mower...) etc. But today I realized, it's the clothes line I love the most here. It's probably the COOLEST thing about living in the middle of no where. Today the wind is blowing, which I hated as a kid, but I'm doing laundry and I'm planning on hanging the clothes out to dry. They will come in as stiff as a board, and I'm excited about it. I've learned how to cheat a little and stick them all into the dryer with a softener sheet for about five minutes when they are done on the line and that helps with the stiffness. But the smell is the kicker. Fresh air on clean laundry! I'm so excited I can hardly wait for the washer to be done.

I love the silence. I've forgotten how much I miss that. AND as I have become a mother I've discovered the coolness of telling the kids to shut off the wii, and "go play outside".
(My folks have a wii, WE do not have a wii, and WE will not EVER have a wii...
"ahhhh, Mom!!" "Sorry!" (NOT!) just can't bring myself to introduce brain rot to my kids)
Right now the kids are up painting the play house, with real paint. A chore from Grandpa. They are in kid heaven. Red Paint! They are making enough noise to scare away the neighborhood bear, and the Deer that now come right up to the house to eat my Mom's flowers, right out of the pots. Deer! As kids growing up here, we made so much noise they only came around in the very early hours of the morning to munch on the grass, and now my parents instead of thinking of them as beautiful visitors, consider them to be pests. How things change.

I do miss the dog. But the cat brought home a rabbit for her dinner just yesterday and left just the hind legs out on the porch for Mom and Dad as a present. My kids were horrified. Just part of the circle of life, I explained to them. It's such a different education here.

I'm so enjoying my time here!

This is my Briar Patch...So PLEASE MISTER! Don't throw me in the Briar Patch!

VooDoo Magic

2010-06-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Stockholm Syndrome

So just a quickie... I saw my wonderful Dr. today about my knee. It isn't ligaments or tendons damaged. YAY! It's just a super locked up joint. So a visit to the chiropractor and it SHOULD be as good as new!

I feel like I've been given a death row reprieve! I can run again with no pain soon!

VERY VERY HAPPY!

Checkin' One Offa the Bucket List!

2010-06-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

Stockholm Syndrome

Yesterday I ran my first Half Marathon. It was a great day. I realized as I drove home that I'm FRESH OUT OF GOALS! Not a good feeling for me. SO, I 'm going to keep that one ON my Bucket List and add a disclaimer....Run a Half Marathon (every year).

Lemme tell you about it! My goal was to run 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 15 minutes. I set out to train in late March with 2 other friends, right away, I got injured.

First, my Dr. found arthritis in my knees. She got that "fixed" very quickly. I had fluid shot into both knees (with needles!) once a week for three weeks. Not as bad as it sounds because I was running pain free.

Then I strained my Soleus Muscle in my right leg. After a month of not running and almost complete PANIC, I decided to just take Advil and run. My great Dr. decided that it wasn't indeed my calf muscle that was still causing pain at that point, but my spine and I was getting residual pain in my legs. I'm happy with that explanation and I'm sticking with it.

Then, for 4 weeks I ran with no pain in my legs, but with a severe lung infection. Finally that cleared up, but, about 3 weeks before the race everything (by which I mean EVERYTHING) went bad. Swelling hip joint, ligament pain in my knee, nerve pain in my legs...Back to the Chiropractor, Dr, PT...everybody. Back to the medicine chest... Back to resting and not running.

PRESS THE PANIC BUTTON PLEASE!

Here is where I tell you that prayer and Aleve work wonders. (And maybe rest, but I HATE it, so I'm not a good advertiser of rest.) This last week, I was to the point that my knee hurt at mile 6, so if I could pound it out until then, I could suck it up, slow down, and easy run the rest. That was my game plan, and exactly what I did the day of the race. I ran 13.1 miles in 2:12:39, and I'm PLEASED AS PUNCH with myself. I didn't do it alone. I had my two friends most of the way, and when I was alone (you can only expect your faster friends to stick out slow for so long, before you say "see you at the finish") I had my Heavenly Father. I pray when I run...it helps with the pain.

So would I do it again? Probably not this week, I got some killer blisters that need to heal, but next week? YOU BETCHA! However. I promised myself some time to recover, and (said through clenched teeth) rest. One month, July, while I'm home visiting my parents in Colorado. Hopefully in one month, with a bunch of at home PT, and non running exercise, I'll be back into form.

Now for my NEW Bucket List goal...hit a Crow with my car. Not as easy as it seems.

Thoughts About Burning Buildings.

2010-06-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

Stockholm Syndrome....

I have these on-going rambling thoughts that occupy my mind space and keep me amused for hours on end. Here is today's thought. It all started while I was BORED STIFF putting laundry away.

I have this black hoodie that I LOVE. It is my "go to" hoodie. I've even (gasp) worn it to church. I got it at CHEZ TARGET about a year and a half ago. $19.99...worth every cent. This hoodie has a HUGE hole under BOTH arms now. (Big enough to put my whole arm into...I know because that's how I discovered this "hole" mess, excuse the pun...) Irreparable. It is a sad, sad day...

So, this is where the thinking comes in. Now keep in mind, that this is pure ramble...only because I know people who have lost everything (including family) in a fire, so this is a stupid "what if". HOWEVER, this hoodie is THE thing I would brave running into a burning building to save. Of course that is because everything else is out of the fire...family, pets, pictures, family history. etc... So thinking on the purely ridiculous side of this mock disaster, what would you save from a burning building?

Your response must be ridiculous...because you've saved everything important at this point and now you are down to comfort items. What would it be?

The reason for this ramble is two fold...
1). because I'm at a lost as to where and how to replace this hoodie.
2). because I'm mourning a little and it's just a THING.

I'm fairly certain that I'll be able to find a black hoodie that can replace this hoodie, that was in reality a replacement for the original black hoodie...that I would have originally run into a burning building to save.

I should be fine...soon.

My Newest Idea.

2010-06-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

I've been contemplating a change...I was right in the middle of creating a new blog, just for me, when I had the thought that I have tremendous problems keeping up with one. SOOOOO...In order to have a blog that is both for me and a means for my far flung family to keep up with us, I've decided to have ONE blog, but two ways of posting. So if you don't want to read my personal ramblings, you don't need to. They will have the heading "Stockholm Syndrome" above them so you'll know they are completely about me, and not about my children's potty accomplishments, etc...

I'm gonna try this out soon...but not today. The little men SUDDENLY need my rapt attention.

Stake Conference Talk

2010-05-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had to speak in stake conference...pretty big grown-up stuff! Thought I'd post my talk so that all could enjoy. I wish my family could have been there to hear it, but in reality that would have been more nerve racking. Brian can tell you all how it really went, if you are wondering, but for now, here is the print version. ENJOY!

I love to run. Recently, because of a leg injury, I’ve been having to rest. I don’t rest well. Because of this particular injury, I’ve been spending a lot of time at Physical Therapy. During one appointment, the aide and I were talking about the differences between Slow and Fast twitch muscles. It was a fascinating conversation that I continued to think about for several days. In fact, it kept coming back to me and started to twist its way around the concept of building faith, much in the same way we build muscles. I’m grateful that the Lord blessed me to have those thoughts and to dwell on them because that is what I’ve been asked to speak on tonight: How I can build my faith.

The LDS website gives us this definition of faith:
“Faith is a gift from God, but we must nurture our faith to keep it strong. Faith is like a muscle. If exercised, it grows strong, if left immobile, it becomes weak.”

Human muscles contain a genetically determined mixture of both slow and fast twitch types of muscle fiber. This mixture is what separates the sprinters from long distance runners. Slow twitch muscles are programmed to be our endurance muscles. They are more efficient at using oxygen to generate fuel for continuous, extended muscle contractions over a long period of time. They fire more slowly, and can function for a long time before they become fatigued. It’s our slow twitch fibers that help us to run marathons. I like to think of these muscles as our “endure to the end” muscles.

Endurance muscles need a specific type of training. First, they need the chance to endure, good long runs. Next they need slow, consistent, weight baring exercise, the kind you do with little weights. In fact it’s those weights that do these particular muscles the most good. Finally and probably most important, and it pains me to say it, they need adequate rest.

Like these endurance muscles, our faith also needs a very specific type of training.
A quote from the talk “Help Thou Mine Unbelief” By L. Whitney Clayton given October 2001, states this:

Developing faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a step-by-step, line-upon-line, and precept-upon-precept process. We promote the process of strengthening our faith when we do what is right—increased faith always follows as a consequence. If we exercise our faith daily with PRAYER, STUDY, and OBEDIENCE, the Savior helps our unbelief, and our faith becomes a shield to “quench all the fiery darts of the wicked”

I’d like to compare Study to the small weights one would use to strengthen endurance muscles. I believe that studying means much more than we can imagine. In order to exercise our faith we can study the scriptures, study the words of modern day prophets, study the covenants we have made with the Lord, and if we are able to attend the temple, participate and study there. Study our lessons both in church and in school, listen and respond to the still small voice, who is a great study partner.

I have a testimony that we can strengthen our faith in every situation we are in everyday, if we study the lessons out in our minds and apply the knowledge gained.

In Ether 12 :27 it states:
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

He has promised to help us become strong through study…opening our minds and hearts everyday will help us to build our faith muscle.

Second I would liken obedience to a good long run. Running is a learned art, which consists of constant tweaking. Obedience is also a learned art, and it seems to me that it too consists of a good deal of tweaking. Again if we consider that faith is achieved a little at a time, by our study, then, we can assume that we obey a little better each time we learn something new.

The LDS web site said this about obedience. “We can strengthen our faith by keeping the commandments. Like all blessings from God, faith is obtained and increased through individual obedience and righteous action.

When I run, I have a slow foot. Recently I met with a form coach to help me. After running behind me for several minutes he told me how to fix the problem. Two very easy fixes, but I have had to change the way I hold my arms. While I wasn’t running badly, the new information helped me to place my feet more correctly, and in a way that would get me moving forward faster, and with better efficiency than before. As I have practiced this new form, I’ve noticed that my leg fatigues a bit faster, as I have to use my muscle in a slightly different way. It may take a couple of good long runs to fix that problem, but with obedience to the better form, my endurance will build.

In much the same way, the Lord gives us great coaching advice on how to move forward faster, and with more efficiency, but we must be open to both the suggestions and the long run involved. Sometimes the suggestions will mean that we might fatigue a bit, but part of obedience is enduring to the end, by trusting that the coaching is for our ultimate benefit.

I have a testimony of obedience. It has created a peace in my life that nothing else can bring.

Lastly I’ll liken Prayer to rest…Like I said before, I don’t rest well. Rest is the key to recovery. A tired muscle never performs to the best of its ability. In fact, even endurance muscles fatigue at some point, in running it’s referred to as ‘hitting the wall’. At that point, it seems like nothing but prayer will get you through. I do a lot of praying during my runs.

In life I often ‘hit the wall’. Prayer strengthens my faith by bringing my will in line with my Heavenly Fathers’ and, it gives me an opportunity to give my cares and concerns over to someone who can and will help. Most importantly, praying gives me the ability to rest.

I love in the 34th chapter of Alma, when he is teaching the humbled Zoramites about prayer and he lists the appropriate times, and places, and reasons for prayer. I’ll paraphrase:
19 Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.
20 Cry unto him when ye are in your fields,
21 Cry unto him in your houses, yea, morning, mid-day, and evening.
26 But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.
27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually

Just as I have trouble resting, I also have trouble handing my cares and concerns over to the Lord. Running has actually helped me to gain a testimony that Heavenly Father cares about all of the things that concern me. He cares how fast I am running, he cares how badly my leg hurts, and he cares that sometimes I am just not breathing well. He takes my burdens and carries them for me, so that I can run and not be weary. Mostly, I think he is just really happy that I’ve let him into the loop.

I have strengthened my faith by learning to pray, by studying out the ways that work best for me and by being obedient, even though sometimes I get fatigued by the process.
I have a testimony that prayer will indeed help us to strengthen our faith muscle. It will improve our study, and help us to be more obedient. Prayer will help us to find the rest that we need in order to endure all of the trials that face us.

Gratitude and Pride

2010-03-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

I'm guessing...Anders at 2? Probably not more than 2 and a half.

This picture is notable for two things. The first being the ever present Binky, or in our family speak, KIKI. Second is the cars. The two things that 1). we NEVER left the house with out and 2). where the items of comfort in any given situation, church, grocery store, school, home...never without them. This being said...

Anders has given up the KIKI! All on his own. About 4 weeks ago he just gave them to Brian, completely unprompted and out of the blue, and stated his intentions of becoming a big boy. And he never looked back. If you ask him about it you receive his beautiful shy smile and the little mumble about being a big boy and not needing to have his Kiki anymore. I am so proud of him. He made it through the first couple of night with only a tiny, two minute suck to calm his brain down, then he would hand it to us and we would walk away. I am utterly amazed by the progress our little boy has made in his life! He is an amazing testament to hard work, (on his end), to overcome some huge challenges. I am thankful for the many hours of therapies, and the therapists, that have given him the tools he needs to function. What a blessing they are and what a blessing he is. I'm thankful to have had the huge support system we have, and to know that God sent this boy to us because WE needed the education, and because he trusted us to learn AND grow by helping him to learn and grow.

SO...on to the next thing. Whatever that may be. But, I'm happy to say that it's probably not going to be Anders' struggle, he is a big boy now.

I do have to mention for posterity's' sake, the fiery temper tantrums that have come with no "off" button... but those are making their way out as well.

An Update: But, Sadly, NO Deep Thoughts...

2010-02-20T18:33:00.000-08:00

This is Elleory (front row, second from the left) singing in the Lake Washington School District Honor Choir Concert. It is a privilege given to a select few sixth grade students, and Ellie was chosen! After a few (5 total) practices, they preformed 4 very well sung songs. My favorite was the "meow" song, in which the whole choir meowed and acted like two different cats. One side was 'Bailey' and the other side was 'Bella'. The song was entitled "Comic Duetto Di Due Gatti"

The song is actually a song from an opera by Gioacchino Rossini, adapted for cats and little humans. Very Funny! We have made it through potty training! (CAVEAT: Anders has been trained since July) Both boys are now peeing in the potty! HAPPY DAY! After much resistance from Liam, and much persistence from Mommy, it actually went well and fast. Liam is not the guy who gets left behind. HOWEVER, he was very resistant to giving up his diapers, and wouldn't wear big boy pants for about a week, thank goodness for pull-ups. What finally got him over the hump? Princess Panties. YEP, you saw that right. I borrowed Princess Panties from my friend down the street, and Liam wore those pretty panties for the entire day. Maybe he just needed to be different from Anders? Who knows... it worked. He is now in regular boy undies, and is so potty trained that when Brian took him to the park today, he took off his pants and pooped in the grass. When a guy has to go, he has to go.

Anders, in his IKEA reptile hat. Which he loved THE day I bought it but won't put it on again. BUT, no one else (read Liam) can wear it either. It's all part and parcel of the sensory thing that comes with The Great Anders package. He has a thing about having his shirt off right now, also, sensory. I can't get him to wear a long sleeved shirt to save my life and he would wear shorts, if he could find them. (It's winter...they are hidden. I'm a resourceful mommy. ) What this boils down to is a naked Anders for a lot of the time he's at home. I fully support nudity. He come by his sensory stuff completely honestly. (From me. And I understand every little bit of it, but struggle helping him to get comfortable. We'll get there... I don't strip off and go into the street to play...very often.)

This cute boy is Elleory's Best Friend Braven. They do pretty much everything together, but most importantly they are snowboard buddies. For the last couple of Saturday's they have headed up to the mountains with his dad, and hit the slopes. Brian and I are green with envy, and are thinking about hiring a babysitter so that we too can hit the slopes. (We are all aware that every time I plan to go snowboarding, I end up pregnant, so maybe we ought to go. SOON.)FOR SALE: One very cute Three year old boy.

Totally Kidding...I would not sell him, but I do consider loaning him out.

I am actually scared about how much Liam looks like Max from "Where The Wild Things Are". Which is exactly how he is behaving lately...right down to the "I'll eat you up" phrase.

We have a saying in our home, "Angry Monsters Work." Liam has been cleaning out the car A LOT lately. He is very cute and very, very, three. I keep trying to remind myself that four is the reward for not killing them when they are three. Anders is so very, very four.

Thank Goodness!

Creation. A wander around my mind

2010-01-10T15:42:00.000-08:00

Quite a few people know, mainly because I don't see the point in keeping it secret, that we are trying to have another baby. Brian and I have always felt like four is the right number for us as a family. In the [song] words of Big Bird..."[We] just adore four, it's the number for [us]." Also as many of you know...I'm just not really good at pregnancy. Well, not pregnancy per say, the "getting there" part, and also a little of the "staying there" part. Liam being the ONLY exception to this statement.

This time around we are coming up to our year mark, as to the decision to pull the (mostly unneeded) goalie, and go for it. Brian of course is going to correct me and say that while the goalie came out almost a year ago, I did officially panic and stepped up the defence a little, so we actually haven't been "trying" for a year, maybe 8ish months...BUT STILL...

I teach primary at church, the 11-12 year old class. This year we are studying the Old Testament in the Bible. Next week we are discussing the Creation. I found a quote from the Prophet Joseph Smith in my lesson for next week that gave me cause to pause, and think as I was reading. It goes like this... “Now, the word create came from the word baurau, which does not mean to create out of nothing; it means to organize; the same as a man would organize materials and build a ship”.

So here's the thinking part. Somewhere I've read, either in the Old Testament, or in the books of Abraham, or Moses in the Pearl of Great Price, that Jesus commanded the dust to ORGANIZE it's self into a world...and it obeyed. Viola, EARTH. Now this could be the Big Bang Theory, it could be the Creationism theory, it could be something we have never considered, it really doesn't matter to me.

The take-away from this is "CREATE=ORGANIZE".

God gave a Man and a Woman the Divine power to create life. I'm not trying to open an anti-gay subject here, but we all know that a man has a seed that reacts to the seed that a woman has to create a beautiful miracle. It's the way it's been since the beginning of time, and will be forever. Science STILL needs the seeds that humans create in order to make babies. Even to clone. Test tube babies are first organized as seeds taken from a man and a woman. I think you get the picture.

I pride myself on my ability to organize. I am really, fairly organized. Only a few areas of my life are under-organized. I work to straighten those out daily, and have realized that sometimes, those fall into the "forces of nature" category, and can't be forced into a box, or a folder, or even filed away, however...I'm an organized person. (Please, in no way, take this to mean that I could write a book on the subject...)

However, after today's wander through my brain, I have come to realize this...

Apparently I(my body) suck(s) at organization, and furthermore, I'm (my body is) not as obedient as even the dust of the earth.

I guess I'm going to have to see a specialist, and get ORGANIZED. :(

THE Witty Christmas Letter - 2009

2009-12-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

Well folks, here it is, the labor of my extreme laziness this year. A Blog Post/Christmas Letter, for those of you who care to read it...

Merriest of Christmases to ALL of our Friends and Family!

I've been sitting eating Tacos while watching A Muppet Christmas Carol with the kids waiting for Brian to come home so I can walk out the door to do my last visit with a friend who is moving, and realized, I love A Christmas Carol. It has ghosts...It's a tiny bit spooky, in a Muppet way, and it fits right in with the spirit of my most favorite holiday, Halloween. I did a bit of soul searching this year to figure out if I'm just overly morbid, (I am), or if there was actually something else to it. There was, (thank goodness.) I love Halloween because it's a time when we get together as a nation and GIVE, really without thought of reward. We give candy, we give merriment, We give creativity, we give light, and warmth, and the occasional potty break to little kids all over our neighborhoods, and usually we do it without getting in return, in fact we spurn the gifts received. "I don't need anymore candy, but thank you for offering..." I love Halloween! And then along comes Christmas, bullying it's way right past Thanksgiving, (and I'm afraid if we don't start being MORE thankful we will ruin our chances at good Karma forever.) and STRESSES ME OUT! This is the reason for the Blog Post this year, too much to do, and not enough time or energy to get it done. So NEXT year, when you get our Happy Halloween letter, please don't be concerned. I just have a lot more energy and fun in October than I do in December.

SO... off of my soap box...

We are actually celebrating a new first this year in our family. We have now lived in the same home for four years. We haven't moved, it's amazing! We are thrilled! We are stable, we are no longer nomads...We NEED to sort and throw away stuff...

Brian is still with Microsoft, we love Uncle Bill and are so very thankful for the job. Brian is with the services group and he does something really important, I just don't know exactly what. He is still serving in our Church in the bishopric and is enjoying that calling. We are enjoying all of the many blessing we receive from his service. Brian also spends a bit of his time working with a company called Unitus. If your interested in learning about changing the world through micro-finance, they have a very informative web site. http://www.unitus.com/ Brian is an avid church basketball player, and a wonderful father and provider. We love him very much.

Elleory (11) is a flutist, piano player, composer, actor, choralist, and a smart 6th grader. She has a ton on her plate and generally loves every minute of it. We, as her parents, seem to always tell her to pull back a little, but she just keeps busy. It will all look very good on her college applications. She is really enjoying this year in school. She has for the first time ever a male teacher, whom we love, and whom really inspires her to reach for the stars. She is going into her last year in Primary in Church and will shortly be going into the youth group. I'm ready, I don't think Brian is. Having a teenager makes you old, fast...

I hate to lump Anders (4) and Liam (so close to 3 I'm just saying 3 now) into one paragraph, but they ARE a unit, both amazingly enough, wear the same size shoes and are a scant inch apart in height. So in reality, you just can't separate them. They are in pre-school together at Duvall Montessori. They are both so happy to be learning. Anders is really into writing, and Liam is into the songs at school and church. They are both really active boys, and there is hardly a time when I'm not cleaning up some mess or another. We are truly blessed to have them as a part of our family. I have thoroughly enjoyed boys so far. Can't wait to have one more!!

NO, I'm not expecting... Just really want another boy.

I've had a great year! Looking back I can't believe all of the things I've done despite being a really busy stay-at-home mom. I've run in two races this year, a local 5k, and a 10k at home in Colorado, certified to teach spinning classes (these are an amazing exercise classes, not a needle craft), teach a yoga class two times a week. It's no wonder I don't get a lot of my at home chores done! However, it's what I have discovered I love, so on with it! I started out the year working in the women's group at church, then was asked to be in the Primary with the children as the Secretary, and then asked to actually teach a class. I now have the 9 year olds, and will be switching again to teach Elleory's class next year. Never in one place very long...

We are happy and healthy, which is a great place to be, We are really enjoying living in Washington. As always, our door is open, please visit if you get the chance. We are incredibly blessed to know of our Savior Jesus Christ and to celebrate him at this time. May the peace of the season be with you all,

Much love,

Brian, Kate, Elleory, Anders and Liam

WOW...Missed November Completely!

2009-12-06T19:47:00.001-08:00

Apparently, I have been asleep at the wheel. I'm behind and backwards, and well, behind. I feel like this might be my second post about being behind this year...MY BEHIND! Well, I'm going to have to get back on the ball, pull my head out and dig-in...I've got some catching up to do.

But not tonight. Tonight, I'm going to bed. I'm worn out, and not really nice. I want to hole-up and watch a movie, while NOT folding laundry, I'd like to finally finish the book I've been trying to read for a whole month, so I can quite paying a library fine each day...I'd even like to sit in a warm bath and veg out, and plan THE perfect week in my head. I'll have time tomorrow to run (always the most important part of my day) address Christmas cards and write my always witty Christmas letter, update my blog and wrap Christmas presents. I might even have time to paint my toenails, and make a glorious dinner. But tonight...I'm off to cuddle with my pillow and fall blissfully asleep in the arms of my snugly snowmen...(sheet set.)

I'm sure Brian will join me soon. The kids will wear him out soon enough.

Halloween 2009 or The Year of the Back-up.

2009-10-31T19:25:00.001-07:00

This is the costume Liam was dead set on having this year. Corduroy, the bear dresses up as a ghost in Liam's favorite book, so if you'd have asked him on any given day what he was going as for Halloween, he would say " A Ghost!" Halloween day rolls around...Liam goes out the door as a dragon...from last year. Nothing like the back-up costume.

Anders continues to impress us with how savvy he really is...His back-up costume was a Red Neck. He totally looks the part, does he not? Don't worry...it's root beer. He was planning on being Spider Man for the whole of the month, but didn't like the way the muscles felt. I bought the costume at a garage sale, so I couldn't take it back...Thank goodness for the back-up costume.

Elleory went as Wednesday Adams. Everything but the tights came from her own closet. I hope she isn't cold while she is out Trick or Treating with her friends...WITHOUT her Mom and Dad this year. She is getting so old! No need for a back-up costume!!

Brian went as a Dentist. He actually would meet the kiddos at the door with floss and toothbrushes...very funny to see their faces. Then he'd yell "just JOKING!" and hand them candy. Pretty good TRICK! Brian pulls a costume out of his hat every year. I always worry about him , and I shouldn't!

I have a 15 year span of back-up costumes, and this year...was the year of the store bought costume. Thank goodness for Target...I found a Lady Bug costume. It wasn't that I was been lazy, (but I was), I want to go as Pink, but in the end just couldn't pull it together.

My Lady Bug costume had wings, but I kept knocking things off the counter, so I took them off. It also came with polka dot stockings, but I was cold and need my leggings and boots to keep me warm. I thought it was pretty cute. I might just do store bought every year from now on....probably not.

I will be thinking of my next year's costume in the next couple of weeks, when the Halloween shine has worn off and I'm left with the gloom of Christmas...

Emptying the Pickle Jar

2009-10-16T22:20:00.000-07:00

I read a book a few years ago called The Christmas Jar, (don't recall the author) which inspired me to start a Christmas Jar of my own. Here is the concept...for one whole year (mine ended up taking much longer...) I would put in all of my loose change, and at the end of that year I would find some one in need to give the money to. I've been putting money into this pickle jar for almost three years now. Somehow it never really gets more than about three inches full. Currently the jar has about 16 dollars in it. I'm sure it would be a significant boost to someone who has nothing, but in truth, I couldn't even get the homeless woman in Wendy's to take my 5 dollar Target gift card I got for buying two boxes of diapers. So, after (almost) three years of saving...and also funding my weekly trips to the gas station to vacuum out the mini-van, I've decided to empty the pickle jar and put my hard earned savings into my new running shoes. I'm considering the fact that I've...

1. lost the whole message of the book, and,

(That might be it.)

I can't decide if I'm being selfish OR if I'm helping support my running habit without adding any undue stress to our family budget.

I'm going to give it a long thought as I put pennies into rolls...

Needed: a Sponsor

2009-10-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

(Pre-post disclaimer...) I have had such a hard time differentiating the concept of NEED and WANT my entire life. As an adult I have to say, it hasn't gotten easier. However, I do exhibit a vast amount of self control. But I still have that problem...

SO that being said, I NEED a sponsor. I actually have a very real need (a neeeeeed) for new running shoes, but not really the fund-age to buy them. I'm going to have to buy the $100 to $150 variety. So what I'm looking for is a sponsorship.

My running hero is sponsored by Nike. She runs 120 miles a week and can finish the Boston Marathon in 2 hours and 20-ish odd minutes. She is true sponsorship material. She probably goes through a new pair of shoes in a month...and that's being really, really generous with a pair of Nike shoes. Probably changes out shoes two times a month. That's at the very least, 24 pairs of shoes a year. And we aren't talking about the cheap shoes they produce for their outlet store. That has to get a little expensive for a shoe company.

Here is my proposal...Sponsor me. (But at the request of my super Orthotic maker lady, it can't be Nike, sorry...has to be another company. Adidas, Asics, Brooks...) I run at most 15 miles a week (and that is being really generous.) Most likely, it's around 9 miles a week. I run a pretty consistent 6 MPH mile, and I enjoy it the whole time. I run with a smile on my face! As long as the sun isn't shining in my eyes...

ANYHOW, I'm putting in my request to be sponsored. I would be an incredible bargain! I need new running shoes probably every three months at most. That's only four pairs a year. AND I represent a large number of the masses. 'Mothers who run, but can't really afford the shoes that would keep us from having to visiting the Physical Therapist, super Orthotic maker lady, Sport Medicine Doctor, every three months when our bodies start hurting because we don't have quite enough money in the 'new shoes' pickle jar'. And that is really, really, the ONLY thing wrong with us. Just need new shoes. (It would also save the insurance companies a little pocket change every three months, when I truck myself to the doctor only to be told...New Shoes. The cost of health insurance would go down thus saving the even greater masses money. Shoe companies could be the big heros!) We are actually a LARGE demographic, (that really doesn't sound right. As we aren't large, just great in size, which sounds even worse...) and we need a sponsor.

I'm totally willing to be sponsored. PICK ME!!! ME, ME, ME!!! (I'm waving my hand over my head, and gasping, holding my breath and crossing my fingers...) Really just need new running shoes.

NOT my Third Wish.

2009-10-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

I repeat...This is NOT my third wish. However... I wish that I had the ability to make people who are suffering, better. I understand that, this statement is in direct in contrast to a statement I previous made about learning from trials and such. BUT...there it is just the same.

I wish I could interfere with nature enough to take away the pain of people I love, and still have them gain from the experience.

I have a friend who says "suffering is good" and sometimes it's "suffering is essential"...I really believe this, but in truth suffering is suffering, and I wish it wasn't...sometimes.

I guess all I have in my power is prayer, a useful and under used tool. I really believe that GOD has that power I lack and he will use it as he sees fit. I'll take that for now AND have faith that He will send blessings to those who could use the extra support.

SO, for now I'm thinking good thoughts and praying. I have a fairly long list...I hope he's ready to hear it.

And Now on to Wish TWO...

2009-09-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

I wish that the grocery store had milk in the Coke fridges at the front of the store so you don't have to truck ALL THE WAY to the back of the store, only to turn around and truck it,
yep, you guessed it ... ALL THE WAY back to the front.

Because, and I know it's their EVIL plan, (So evil it's E-VILLE), I will inevitably pick up more than I can carry...which I don't really need, and fumble it all the way to the check-out, and stand there freezing my hands off while I wait to be helped by who knows who? Super-man? Certainly not the cart guy...

So that's wish two...MILK IN THE COKE FRIDGE. Simple, well thought out, AND beneficial to ALMOST everyone.

My Three Wishes...

2009-09-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

I have these on going discussions with myself from time to time to alleviate the boredom of certain chores, such as laundry, cleaning bathrooms, general housework, (you get the picture) in which I pose a question to myself and then give myself free range in answering. One that is great discussion material for myself lately is "what would I wish for if I were granted three wishes". So... this is a glimpse into the mind of someone who struggles to have a straight line of thought, it's a little bit like riding a roller coaster backward, but here it goes... Today's wish list. Hang on!

I would wish for...One Million Dollars. No...actually I wouldn't. Only because a Million Dollars was a huge amount of money when I was a kid, and now it's not. It's obtainable. I'd have to do something maybe illegal or immoral...but still in my lifetime I could have a million dollars, by myself. I wouldn't have to use up a wish for that. Plus, I'd only get to spend a million dollars, I'm sure I could have that spent in, ummm... no time at all. So NO to money, any amount...because, ultimately, it would never be enough.

I would wish that every dessert I ate would have no calories...Nope, not that. Mostly because that would rob me of the joy of running off those calories the next morning. I would really have no motivation left at 5 am to run at that point.

I would wish for a clear head all the time. No, again that would take away my only other motivation to run, spin, drive a car...everything I do to clear my mind that I completely enjoy. So in order to continue those activities, I need the fast, out of control, thinking. (Sometimes it just seems that way, but really it's just fast, all the time.)

I would wish that I would never be sick. Hummm, tempting, but... NO! I would never again appreciate the days that I feel so good. Which is most of the time anyway...also it's those rare sick days that I get my resting up done. So to wish those away is craziness! It is necessary for me to be sick in order to enjoy being well, so not that either.

I would wish for my children to have safe and happy lives. This is very tempting, but again not what I would choose. I WANT my Children to have hard days, to have trials of mind, body and spirit, so that they can grow to be very strong. I want them to learn that they have to rely on the Lord when they struggle with something. While I want them to have a smooth road, I'd never wish that for them, it would be like wishing them a severe handicap. Definitely not that.

I would wish for the world to have only winter, so that I could snowboard anytime I wanted. Oh so very genius of me. This is it! Something I'd enjoy tremendously. But not everyone else I know. Most folks just don't like winter the way I do. For instance, my Mom is miserable in the cold weather, and she worries all winter long about everyone she loves. Somehow I'm not that altruistic yet...I don't worry that much, but to save HER the worry I won't wish for that, as fun as it would be.

What I finally came up with is this... Within one mile of my house are restaurants representing every imaginable food, Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Italian, Japanese, BBQ, two Sub Shops, one McDonald's, and three (yes we live near Seattle...) Starbucks. What we don't have is a Taco Bell. In point of fact, there is not Taco Bell in Redmond, it's right across the street in Bellevue. I would wish for a Taco Bell. That's it. My one worthy wish, to benefit me and the rest of humanity. I see no downfall, no faulty reasoning... I would wish for a TACO BELL.

Now on to the other two...

Will She Ever Blog Again?

2009-09-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

I promise I will...sometime in the next couple of days. My creative juices are stagnant. Hopefully they will run freely soon. I have a mean case of blog-block, and my poor family is wondering if everything is OK. It's not really, but I'm working through it. I'll get there.

My Behind...

2009-09-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

Liam says my for me, or I. So in the spirit of Liam..."my behind". I'll get around to posting soon. I have several drafts I'm currently working on, just not a tremendous amount of time. I'll get there...

Liam, His ONLY Sunday Shirt and the Scissors

2009-08-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh yes, here we go again.

Liam... (if your up on the blog, you'll get this. The title says it all.)

However...When am I, as his mother, going to learn? Some kids set fires, so their parents don't have matches, or lighters, or, fire...around. Some kids jump off of stuff, some kids paint on stuff...I'm quite certain that their parent have learned to put temptation items out of sight.

I have a scissor thing. I have a virtual panic attack if I can't lay my hands on a pair at any given moment. Which means I have a pair of scissors in every room of the house and noisy little bugger that he is, he finds them and cuts stuff up.

I'm going to turn into that old lady that wears the little fold-up scissors around her neck on a chain, with my library lady glasses, (and a sharpie pen and everything else I need to have with me at all times), just to save Liam's life. GREAT! Not exactly what I'd aspired to in my visions of old ladyhood.

More Sentimental Journeying

2009-08-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

My buddy Dontje, the guy I sat next to at my high school graduation, and brother to my friend Micah.

As you read in a previous post, I lost one of my lifelong friends, Micah, in May. I was so lucky to be able to attend his Life celebration in July. It was an odd situation in a way. I kept looking for him, even though I knew he wasn't in attendance. He was and probably will be forever missed.

I ran into people there that I've know my whole life. (My soccer coach from grade school. We had a great conversation about our mutual love of running.) People I was glad to see again, and people I just plain love. It was quite possibly the best party I've been to since...I can't remember when. I hope when I die, someone will put a kegger together for me with really great music (I have my play list started on my Zune, under funeral music, oddly enough...)chocolate chip cookies, and yard games. Maybe even an open mike for karaoke or just sentimental yammering... wouldn't that be a blast?

This all brings a confusing quandary into sharp focus for me. I'm forever trying to figure out why I'm homesick for wherever I'm not. I finally figured it out... It will never matter where I live, I will always miss the people I've left behind, and I'm really grateful that they remember me and love me back. So to every one I love, and if you're reading this, it's you... I love you and I miss you. I hope to see you again soon, AND your invited to my kegger!

Now What?

2009-08-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

Brian and I realized on our way back home to Washington that we had missed one of our family traditions because of our long summer vacation. The Blue Angels flying over Lake Washington. It's something that we actually put on our goal list at the first of the year. Poor planning on our part and a funky calendar, put it just out of reach. We were disappointed, but our plan is now to live in Washington for a while, so we will see them next year.

So on to the next tradition...Camping on the Olympic Peninsula, and hiking in the Rain Forests. A visit to the very cold and rainy Washington beaches, should round out our next adventure. After that is the Salmon Run. We are calendaring into October, which brings around my most favorite time of the year...Halloween! And yes...I've already started planning.

So, it's not even the end of summer and here I sit, starting to pack it all away. I'm sure in the next few days we will head out to the local beach for a swim, and I'm positive we will head to the zoo and do all of the other fun summer things we can before school starts, but I'm looking forward to fall and the start of the rain. Maybe it all goes back to the circus thing... Maybe I just need the consistency of a tight schedule, and maybe I just need to get into bed. Either way, I'm looking forward to what's next.

Dear Crayola,

2009-08-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

(or Hallmark if you want to get really nit-picky,)

I have to admit, I was appalled to pay $6.99 for a Color Wonder coloring book. One I wasn't even sure my children would color in. However...having been caught in this trap before, and having the markers that go with said coloring book, AND desperate for ANY form of entrainment on a two day car trip, through the worst (read most boring) parts of America, I ponied up $6.99 for a coloring book. Not once, but twice. Boy am I the happiest customer!?! Anders, our sweet three year old, colored every single page of that coloring book, and started in on the second. One marker for each page. First page, all brown. Second page, all red. I'm sure you get the point. Every single page with a single mindedness that would impress probably the most seasoned politician. He was quiet, except when he finished a page, then he would shout for every one to see, and then move on. In hindsight, I would have payed ten bucks, probably more, for that kind of peace. So thank you from the bottom of my over-spent heart. Please keep cranking out the absurdly priced coloring books. Anders is almost finished with the second one.

Thanks,
Kate

PS...Liam was wondering if you could possibly make the markers taste better? Just a suggestion from your two year old customer base.

Our Girl Elleory

2009-07-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

This year, Elleory decided to try wake boarding. After some coaching from Aunt Julie, our resident expert, she got right out of the water, and never looked back. Can't even tell you how proud we were of her. Brian and I witnessed this whole thing from the back of the houseboat, and patiently waited for her to come back and tell us about it. She was pretty proud of herself. She is looking forward to going out again in the next couple of weeks with Uncle Brian on Chatfield Reservoir. I guess we are going to have to make some friends with boats in Seattle or buy our own... hhhmmmm.

Lake Powell: The Pictures...

2009-07-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

Anders, Elleory and Liam on a boat cruise with Grandpa Gary and Brian. We call these little excursions "Snooze Cruises", because ultimately...a nap is the whole reason for the wandering around the lake in the middle of the day. Generally the temperature is HOT by that time. Heat induced nap, LOVELY.
Our family photographer, Anders. He takes very good pictures. Brian on top of the houseboat, probably being the Liam life guard. Liam was perpetually hanging off of something, over the lake, or trying to kill himself in one way or another. I really hope this phase doesn't last.
Anders continues to amaze me with his "recovery". Last year he would barely get into the water, this year we couldn't keep him out. It's a great deal, and I'm very proud. Lake Powell is a sensory overload for him and he is so happy. Every thing goes so fast, and is BIG, and he just loves it. This year he discovered jumping the wakes on the wave-runners, and the ION. Each time he got on anything his first words were "are we gonna go fast?" So love that we are getting out of the scared of everything stage. ALSO...He went poop on the potty in the houseboat, a first for him. YAY!
This is me, in a swimsuit, on the blog, again... I had the award winning fall this year. Just barely pushing my sister Lindsay out of the spot. (She had basically the same fall) I was crossing the wake, and trying to figure out how to turn and jump, when the nose of the board got sucked under. I hit my face hard on the water, and lost the board. Thankfully, the only water I breathed was the stuff that got forced into my nose by the hit. My smack on the water was loud, and I actually lost my bottoms. (This is the reason I got the award...) I did want to get right back up again, but I was pretty certain that I'd broken my nose. I had Brian Jr. take me home for ice, Advil and a nap... This was the next attempt, the next day, and me being very cautious (only slightly more cautious than normal)... which is sad, because these are the only pictures I got of me wake boarding this year.

Another Anders shot. We are looking forward to next year.

Best of Lake Powell

2009-07-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

OK so here it is...

The Lake Powell Awards. Maybe on the same level as the Darwin Awards but no one has to die to get one.

Sorry no pictures yet... some coming soon.

Best Houseboat Driver goes to my Dad. He drives it every year, but this year he did it the best.

Best Vacation Planner goes to my Mom. Meals, extra sunscreen, she thinks of everything.

Best Surrogate Child/Right Hand Man (woman) goes to our friend Kir, who is ultimately more helpful than all of the Birth Children. What can we say? We're all pretty lazy...

Best Smiliest, Nicest, Kindest, Most Thankful Person goes to Doug's friend Kaela. Who would say thank you to the ski boat driver, even after she wiped out hard.

Best D.J. goes to Doug who kept us in tunage for the trip.

Best Quotable Quote goes to Jay. "Guys...I'm sinking...I'm really sinking here...guys?" Apparently his life vest wasn't really as buoyant as it needed to be, and the wake board was really buoyant. Pretty much every body just watched, and laughed. Sorry Jay. Welcome to the family.

Jay gets two awards this year. Best Improvisation of First-Aid-ish/Meeting a Very Specific Need Thingy. The Skill Socks are marvelous! Can't wait to be able to buy them at R.E.I. Also I think you should go with the rainbow color scheme to pay tribute to the bad 80's life vest. Maybe some stripes at the top?

Best Hair and Most Swim Suits goes to Lindsay, who always looked stunning.

Best Mullet goes to Jack

Best Ski Boat Driver goes to Brian Farnsworth who hauled us around the lake daily to wake board. You are awesome and I know you didn't get in the water nearly as much as you'd have liked.

Best Wake Board Coach goes to Julie, who finally talked Elleory onto the board and up out of the water, from the water. Way to go!

Most Naked Kid and best Pee'r off the boat goes to Cannon.

Best behaved baby goes to Mya.

Most Improved Wake Boarder goes to Brian Bergholm, who just started this year and got up the very first time, and started turning. You make us all look bad honey, but WOW!

Best Beginner goes to Elleory who also started boarding this year. Way to go kiddo! You make your Mama so proud. Keep it up.

Best Sleeping Through The Final Wind Storm goes to Anders and Liam. Who amazingly slept through the noisiest storm.

Finally, the Award for Best Wipe-Out Without Dying goes to me. Pretty sure for about half a day that I broke my nose. But really I'm OK, and the bruising is not so noticeable anymore.

We had a great trip, that went way too fast. Nobody died, or had to go to the hospital. We all ate well, and slept as much as one can in that situation.

Can't wait for next year!

Vacation

2009-06-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

Off to Lake Powell for the next ten days. Wish you were here. Will blog when we are back. Happy Summer Vacation!

So Stinkin' Cute

2009-06-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

Again Liam...

What can I say more? The kid is pure nut job.

Anders is genetically red neck. You might not notice the bare feet... but the cut-off Star Wars t-shirt is a dead give away.

Thanks to Amy J. for having the iPhone available to snap pictures at my children's finest hour.

I love that these two make me laugh almost hourly.

My MAN!

2009-06-07T20:51:00.001-07:00

Brian pointed out that I never include him in the pictures on the blog.

Then he points out that he's always the one taking the pictures...

True enough.

I have a great husband, who does not get enough credit, or recognition.

So here he is, in a swim suit on the blog. Because, he was the one to suggest the trip to the beach and the one who did most of the playing, and getting dirty.

I sure love him. And his little sidekicks too!

Already June 7th!

2009-06-07T12:42:00.001-07:00

I'm a bit behind on posts. Things have been happening here, so I'll endeavor to cover it all. In the interest of keeping all things in order, I'll be posting a bunch today. Happy, Happy, reading!

"I Jus Wanna' Give E-um a Hug"

2009-06-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

I just didn't realize this stared THIS early. Must be genetic. But NOT from my side...

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-06-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

I actually got into a swimsuit. On purpose. And went to the beach.
We took a lunch, which the kids ate. (Shock and surprise)
Mostly they just drank Gatorade.

Played in the sand.

Got really dirty.

Anders even went into the water!! We all survived. We might just do it again.

Because a Mother Can Not Be Everywhere ...

2009-06-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

Liam...That actually should be the entire context of the post and you would have a good laugh and move on. But because you don't actually live with Liam, your going to need the story...

I got an email from my Mom, in which she was a little panicky about how to pick Elleory up from the airport, and would I do a little research and let her know what to do? I waited until I could put Liam down for a nap to start on that project, because we were having one of THOSE DAYS. I knew that if I gave him the excuse to be destructive in anyway he would take it and run with it. Now USUALLY, I can trust Liam to stay in bed, and sleep. He's a sleeper. I put him in his bed, with the instructions that I always give him..."Stay in this bed."

Not five minutes later, Anders comes into my "office" dragging my hair clippers behind him.

"Where did you get those?" I ask

"From E-um" Anders answers

"Why does Liam have my clippers?" I ask?

"He's doing his hair cut." Anders responds

Just then Liam comes skipping into where we are, just grinning.

"Look Mom! Hair cut!"

Liam with the hair scissors in the bed, where he was supposed to be napping.

Now, it's a sad fact of life that while I'm fuming, I grab the camera to take pictures because a). when I'm done being amazed, mad, crazy...I'm going to blog this, and b). I'm going to have to have justifiable evidence for Brian that the impending hair cut needed to happen.

All of this is happening WHILE I'm on hold with the airline, trying to get information about unaccompanied minors. IRONIC? It's not like I was watching soap operas eating Bon-Bon's or on Facebook hanging out doing nothing, no, I was tending to the upcoming needs of another child.

I hang up. I call Brian. He answers...

"I quit..." I say

"Why?" says Brian

I proceed to mention the goings on of the day. Oddly enough EACH sentence starts with "Liam did..."

Then I get to the hair cut.

"How bad can it be honey?" Brian asks "Can you leave it until I get home and we can deal with it together?"

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!" I say "I actually have to leave the house with this child today, I'm a stylist...NO child of mine..." Blah, blah, blah... I'm sure you get the rest of the conversation.

I got the moral support I needed to march my kid across the street to shave his head bald in the neighbor's garage, so I could have someone on hand to take pictures, and hold him down so I could finish what he started.

The finished product. Bald baby boy...

This is the "remorse" picture.

I'm sure you can tell, just by his little face how much he LOVED this whole experience.

He did actually cry about his hair. Not that it made ME feel any better...it just made me laugh.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel...

2009-05-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

Or: A Very Good Day.

Brian is at Youth Conference this weekend. Luckily, he is home at night, but that leaves another day in which to entertain kiddos.

Because I MUST smoke crack, (not really, but it's a great way to say I'm crazy) I decided to try the movies today. I'm sure you are aware that OUR children and movies generally don't mix. (Elleory being the shinning exception.)

We have turned a corner, today, a huge corner!!!

Our so cute, darling, sweet boys sat through an entire movie!!! I feel like there is hope! I feel way less tied down. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I feel like if I keep up the accolades, the universe will start laughing and prove me wrong...I am ever superstitious.

I'm almost hoping that now potty training might be in the future, but I'm still not going to hold my breath. Someday soon we will not only be a household with no cribs, but a household with no diapers, who can (reasonably) sit through a movie, (because with diapers there is no need for a potty break...) and GASP, maybe even an hour of church. (They actually can do this but we have been having a bit of trouble in the last couple of weeks. Maybe they need new church toys?)

I'm so happy to be having this day! Just when I've been feeling like everyone's kids grow up, but mine remain perpetually babies.

Hope, Hope, Hope... it's such a bright shiny thing!

Elleory's No Good, Very Bad, Day

2009-05-29T16:23:00.000-07:00

Grounded for all of Saturday, and relegated to playing with the boys all day, JUST for not coming home on time. 30 lousy minutes...

Missed a pizza party, because no one told Mom about it... (apparently, if it's not on the calendar, it doesn't exist.)

Adding to the misery...Phish passed away.

Because she is such a great girl, she is handling this beautifully. But we did have a rough couple of minutes. It's hard to be the oldest and learn to be responsible, and have to deal with the circle of life (can't help singing it!) all in one day. I remember all of these kinds of things from my life at this age. Well, not the fish...

I think she is doing a great job maturing! Can't help loving that Elleory!

Makin' His Mama Sooo Proud...

2009-05-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is Anders.

Yes. this is a big gun.

No, I haven't changed my view point on guns...

But he was sooo excited about the neighbor's new toys.

I have to admit, I was kind of excited also. It's a pretty cool toy. Could it be that the Bergholm's will get into Nerf gunning? Who knows? But it seems like a good idea for Father's Day. What could be better than giving my three boys toy guns and letting them shoot each other for hours on end, out in the sunshine?

(Are these thoughts actually coming from my head? Who are you and what have you done with sensible Kate?!? I don't allow guns in my home, you gun totting, NRA supporting, redneck's daughter...)

I have to admit that it was fun playing with them at the neighbor's house, and watching the boys figure out how to run them. It's always fun to hear them laugh and scream and giggle. I'm just a little torn by the logistics and the politics of it all.

And maybe, just maybe, I need to relax and let my kids play with toy guns... But THEN where do I draw the line? Country Music? GROAN...

Things you shouldn't do at the Temple.

2009-05-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

By: Liam Bergholm

Hi! I'm Liam. I'm standing outside of the Seattle LDS Temple. It's a very special spot where my mom and dad took me and my brother Anders and my sister Elleory for a primary activity, so I could learn what not to do at the Temple. The Temple is Jesus' house on earth so you need to be really good, and whisper, and be respectful. HOWEVER, no one told me that Jesus has a swimming pool right outside the front door!! So COOL!
This is Anders and I checking out the swimming pool, and trying to figure out how to get in. There was some pretty tight security measures and a big garden planted around it to keep us out, but we mapped out a route. It was our Mission: Impossible.

First, I needed to take off my shirt. Even at the public pool you have to wear the proper attire. I tried twice to take off my shirt but my mom and dad kept putting it back on. I very tearfully explained to them that I was trying to choose the right and respect the pool dress code. I just really wanted to swim in the pool.

Because they were paying attention to me...Anders was successful at removing his shirt. So when mom and dad started paying attention to him, I sat in the grass and quickly removed my shoes and stared in on my pants... My mom discovered me and sent me with dad to get my clothes back on. At this point, I had to start yelling "NO! I want to get in Jesus' bathtub!"

At that point mom and dad decided it just might be best if we went home...we tried again to get into the pool, but no luck. So in order to make our rebellion complete, we removed our shirts again and swung on the statues, all the way back to the car...It was there that mom and dad discovered that they had locked the keys in the car.

It was a pretty AWESOME day. But we didn't ever get to swim in the big pool, maybe next time.

A Sentimental Journey...

2009-05-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I was enjoying the beautiful weather here in Seattle, and the company of my friend, we rode her horses. I had a good babysitter, that I knew I could trust with my children's happiness, and could feel comfortable leaving them for the three hours I had planned. It was indeed a good day.

It was also the day that the first boy I ever loved was relieved of the battle he had fought so long and hard. My dear friend Micah passed away in Colorado. After almost 10 long years of fighting a brain injury, seizures and ultimately a rare blood disorder, he left this life and started on his next journey.

I sit with bittersweet feelings as I write this. I feel so deeply for his Mother, Sue, who nursed him and fought so many battles, for so long. For his two girls who have been deprived of him, but not of a father, as other good men have taken that role. For his wife who lost him so shortly after making a family with him. For his brothers, who also sacrificed so much of their lives to be with him, and took some of the nursing responsibilities. For his sister, who labored to give birth only two hours after his death, knowing that he wouldn't meet her new baby in this life. Yet, I think of the hours and days he sat, probably wanting to run, to play, to do anything but sit. Now, he is free do do all those things. No more wheel chair, no more silence, no more dependence on those he loved, and who loved him in return. I have yet to meet a more selfless family. One who could teach the world of what it means to be "functional".

I will miss his smile. I will miss the mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. I will miss the fact that even though he could no longer communicate with words, I knew that he knew me and was glad to see me. I could always see that he wanted to say "Katie love...what's goin' on?" and then he would just listen. I loved that I could crawl into his bed beside him and tell him all about where I'd been and what I'd seen, and he would listen, and hold my hand and inwardly laugh at my jokes.

I'm sad that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, I had planned on visiting this summer but, I waited too long. I know that God has a plan for all of us and I will see him again, and then have the chance to tell him how much he meant to me, how much knowing him changed me, and made me who I am and where I am.

I'm grateful for, and love, his family who have allowed me to take a very small part of this journey with them. My prayers are of comfort for them as they make this transition into the next parts of their lives. My hopes are with them also, that they will go forward knowing they did the very best they could for him, and that he is now in the best hands, and will receive the best care.

So on a beautiful day, when the sun shone in Seattle, I lost my friend, and I will miss him.

60 days...

2009-05-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

I just got my renewal form for my cosmetology licence in the mail; which means three things...

1). Time to decide if I'm ready to let that go...Not quite.

2). Time to find 30 bucks to renew it.

3). ONLY 60 DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Just thought I'd give you the heads up. I'm turning 36 this year. Closer to 40 than 20. A fact which both intrigues and frightens me. Yet, I'm pretty calm about the whole thing.
This means that:

1). I'm old enough to know better. (Darn it!)

2). My neck is going to start looking more like a turkey's than a baby's bottom.

3). I'm in the exact spot I'd like to be.

This is when I start planning my "New Year's Resolutions". Really, I'll spare you the details, but good changes are coming...

NOW FOR THE SHALLOW (read: planning) PORTION OF THE BLOG POST:

I'm going to be home (in Colorado) for my birthday again this year. Yay! There are two concerts I'd like to attend. (I don't need to do both, either would be good.) The Wallflowers on the 21 of July, and The Counting Crows on the 29 of July. I don't really want to go alone, but I will. I'm going to need babysitters, and concert goers...Any takers?

I'd also LOVE to have dinner with my Whole family.

As you know, I'm a planner... I like to make sure all of my ducks are waddling along in the correct rows. There is, after all, only 60 days left...

Only One Living Thing at a Time, Please.

2009-05-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

I'm currently, and not on purpose, killing my house plants. I usually have an incredibly green thumb. Plants (with the exception of potatoes in my garden) do well for me. At one point in my life B.C. (before children) I actually worked as a gardener, and I only killed one begonia...over watered it. But these poor house plants... so sad, so neglected, so short on vitamin D.

First off, you have to know that EVERY TIME we buy a house plant we will, guaranteed, no kidding, move in six months. So we have been very leery of buying any plants here in Washington. So I think that maybe I'm a little out of practice with my green friends.

Second, I don't think we've actually had a plant since Elleory was born and we lived in Denver, CO. We moved from there and left all of our beautiful plants behind when Elleory was 18 months. We also had a wonderful nanny (my sweet sister Julie) in Denver, so I did get the chance to pay attention to the plants.

So here in Redmond, we have three kids, no nanny, and house plants (we bought them a year ago, so I think the curse is finally broken.) that are begging to be put out of their misery. I'm not sure there is much I can do for them except put them in the garbage. I might try them outside, but I'm a little afraid of the over watering thing, as it's springtime in Washington and has started raining again...

Also, back to that curse...What if I don't save these plants and have buy more to replace them and then six months later...

Our kids are doing really well though...Growing, healthy, happy. So maybe I should retire from houseplant keeping and just focus on my little humans for now.

So what color does that make my thumb? Flesh?

Elephants Say What?

2009-05-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

Apparently they say MMMMOOOOO.

Me and Eloise

2009-04-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Have you met Eloise? As in at the Plaza? Hotel? I heart Eloise. What is not to love? She six, she know what she wants out of life...right now... and she has unlimited credit. (SIGH) But what I really love about Eloise is the statement she makes often. "Here's what I love..." and then goes on to list what she loves.

I'm having a particularly crappy day. So I decided to 'Eloise' it for just a moment, and make a list of what I love.

I love that my foot hurts because I injured it RUNNING.
I love that I can go outside and run, until I just can't run anymore.
I love that I have a doctor who takes good care of my injuries, and doesn't tell me I ought to be slowing down.
I love my Physical Therapists.
I love my insurance company.
I love it when Liam says Boobies, and wants to wear my bra.
I love having an hour in the afternoon when NOBODY talks to me. Because I've been talked out today, and it's only 2:30.
I love that I am for the first time in YEARS happy to be living right were I am.
I love that I have a good husband who takes care of our family.
I love that my children are healthy.
I love my crazy schedule, because I DON'T have to be home to take care of the dishes and laundry 24-7.
I love my spin classes and my yoga classes, because I get as much of a break, as I get health benefits.
I love my friends who are willing to 'bare' (with) my children.

I have more... but I'm sure your done hearing the me, me, me, I, I, I. Yet it's MY blog...
I'm glad I Eloise'd. I really needed it.

Shiny Gold Engine

2009-04-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post about Elleory's school play. It was "The Little Engine That Could". Elleory had a part as part of the Shiny Gold Engine. It was a very lively production in which most of the characters wore roller skates, and there were over 250 parts and characters. She also had a part as a puppeteer, in which she danced with a puppet on a string. It was a very fun evening, and the Little Engine did finally get the train over the mountain!

Small Spaces

2009-04-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

Anders still has a great need for small spaces to feel his most comfortable. This particular afternoon he wanted to watch a movie, on my bed in his "baket". He stayed in here for the entire movie.

Liam and the Big Stick

2009-04-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

Liam has a stick 'thing'.

Every time we go on a walk he finds a willing stick to march along beside him. Naturally, as his mother, I worry about his eyes. So far no accidents. (We actually had to take him into the eye doctor on Saturday morning, to have a poke looked at...NOT from a stick, just Anders' finger. All is well, he has some drops to put in for about a week.)

The stick is usually the biggest one he can find, and if he finds a bigger stick along the way, well, he dumps the first stick and moves ahead with the better stick. Hopefully this is not an emerging pattern for later in life. Beware, girls!

This is the biggest stick he could find at the watershed when we took the kids to see if the snakes were awake yet. They weren't. But there were a lot of great sticks.

Writers Block

2009-04-26T19:55:00.000-07:00

It's really not that I have nothing to write about...I just can't seem to get anything out of my head and onto the page. (Probably one of the reasons I've been sleeping so poorly.)

I'll let you know when I do.

And the Answer is...

2009-04-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

no good. They were up to 'no good'!

I have a strange, yet very fulfilling, love affair with plastic boxes. All shapes and sizes and brands for that matter. If it comes in plastic I love it! It's a little like a friend of mine who loves women...doesn't matter what shape, size, color, age... if she a woman, he loves her. I love that those plastic boxes are the key to my sanity, my true well being. They genuinely embrace my O.C.D. and still love me back. They say to me, "Bring me your messes, your loose ends, throw them into me and I will comfort you knowing that everything has a place. Nothing will haunt you in the night by crying out, 'I have no place to be'! I love you because you understand me, and you use me." (This is all said with a smooth Italian accent, because plastic boxes are sexy to me that way.)

My wild sons were abusing those wonderful plastic boxes. There were up to no good. Each CRASH was a poor box being emptied onto the floor, behind the headboard of their bed. Trains, Lego's, Crayons, Matchbox Cars... pretty much everything I had painstakingly sorted and stored away into those beautiful boxes, and put onto the shelves (oh those shelves...) in the closet. (I won't go into how I feel about well planned closets...)

We've been so devastated by the willful destruction, (those darling boxes and I) we've done nothing to clean up. We figure, the best answer to give to those boys right now is "I'm sorry you threw your cars behind your bed, I can't reach them right now. You'll have to find something else to play with." Eventually, when I have a strong husband home to help me move the bed I will fill up all of those lovely plastic boxes again with the tossed toys, and we (the boxes and I) will feel better knowing, that everything is in it place, and that they, the boxes, will be fulfilling the measure of their very creation.

SIGH....

Need to Know...

2009-04-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

I've sent the boys to play in their bedroom. I need a little time out. It's 10 am. I have a babysitter coming in two hours. Still need the time out...

From the bedroom I hear; CRASH...harharharharhar!!! "Let's do that again!!" "OK!!" CRASH...harharharhar!!! CRASH...etc...etc... this goes on for around four minutes.

Two thoughts go through my head, 1). What could that possibly be? and 2). Do I really Need to Know?

I love the part in all good action movies where the head guys says... "This is a 'need to know' problem and you DON'T need to know."

So really, do I need to know?

Probably not. But I can smell someone in need of a pit stop, so I'll go check out the carnage...

One of Three Percent

2009-04-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

Boy am I ever lucky!!

I have a new medication to treat the inflammation in my shoulder joint. It is a patch that I stick on my shoulder every twelve hours. It makes me totally nauseous...like I'm in the first trimseter of pregnancy.

Not enough to throw up, but enough to notice that; I just don't feel great.

I'm one of the three percent of people who have this side effect.

Lucky me!

A Strange Revelation...

2009-04-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

I went to the circus for the first time when I was 24 years old. Probably a good thing, as I was the type to run away to join up as a kid. Now I know better.

Revelation: I HATE SPRING BREAK! (Who ever thought of it is on my list!)

Reason: I don't want to be the Ring Master in the circus. YET here I stand...

I guess lion tamer is out too.

Perspective

2009-03-31T20:47:00.000-07:00

OR: Things That Just Aren't That Big A Deal...

I have a good friend who asked for our New Years Resolutions for her blog. I never got back to her because A). part of me thinks those are useless, and B.) I don't make them. This year however one has been percolating around my consciousness, and sometimes, I'm just more conscious of it than others. Today is one of those days. The thought/resolution is this... I don't have much time before my children aren't little anymore, and I need to enjoy them. Time goes by so fast, and little babies are soon little kids, then little adults, then gone....

Part of that enjoying them stems from this; enjoying exactly who they are, who God sent me, not who I'd like them to be, how I'd like them to act, how I'd like to mold them...

Which means: Relax... Don't sweat the small stuff. Laugh more, teach the more important lessons, quit focusing on the outward, (what others expect my children's behavior to be like). Spend more time focusing on loving every little quirk, and foible.

So here it is... I officially quit. I quit telling my kids the following:

~Not to say butt, because honestly, it's funny to hear a 3 year old say butt, and poop for that matter. Especially when you ask "what do you want to eat?" And the response is "poop!"
~Not to spit (except inside, on the carpet), or gargle their juice/milk, or blow bubbles with straws. (And I hope that when their teachers ask them if they do that at home... you get the idea.)
~Not to roll in the muddy puddles, (I've been blessed with a washer and dryer and an enormous amount of clothes. It's really not that big a deal.)
~Not to throw toys down the stairs.
~Not to jump on the bed, off the couch, off the stairs, etc.
~Not to run in the grocery store. (mainly because I resolve to get a babysitter for grocery store visits from now on.)
~Lastly, I quit feeling the need to apologise for my children's behavior...they are after all children. Mine. But not me. (And with the exception of saying butt, I generally don't do any of the above...)

I will be more diligent about teaching these MORE IMPORTANT LESSONS:
~That I love them for exactly who they came to me as.
~Careful consideration of their siblings.
~Kindness and empathy.
~Be polite.
~How to work hard, how to play hard for that matter.
~To love God.
~To trust themselves, their family, and mostly their parents.

So there it is. Perspective...mine...

P.S. This also means that I'm not cutting my boys hair anymore either. Unless they ask.

Fish Laxatives

2009-03-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

This is a true story...

We have a fish that Elleory caught in the pond right by our house and has kept it alive for WAY LONGER than I expected. His name is appropriately...Phish. He's a not gold, goldfish. He has grown to be fairly big, and seems to be thriving on the inattention he receives, and the three plus feedings a day. Our Phish is a little dog-ish...he begs, so everyone who sees him during the day feeds him. Needless to say, he eats well.

Phish has been swimming a little off kilter for the last couple of days, a little sideways... like he has a Nemo fin.

The neighbors across the street just lost their goldfish, Mike, at the beginning of the week, and this is the only reason Phish is still with us I'm sure. (I guess Mike didn't die in vain.) Mike was swimming sideways as well.

So the Mom of Mike says to me:

"Mike passed on."

I say, " Oh no! What happened?" I'm really concerned because Liam's favorite thing to do at that house is pet the fish.

She says "He was swimming sideways... I just didn't take the time to try to save him."

I respond "You can save a fish?!? Phish is swimming sideways."

So she proceeds to explain about swim bladders and fish constipation. How she know this is still a mystery... Anyway, when a fish eats sometimes it gulps too much air, and it's little swim bladder gets to be like a balloon. So you soak their food before you feed them so it sinks and then they swim down to the bottom to eat and that clears out their little air bubbles...a little fish burping I suppose.

The other cause of sideways swimming is constipation, and since fish aren't really forthcoming about what the problem is, we fish mommies have to guess. So the cure is this, and honestly it sounds a bit like this joke my father tells about catching elephants... You skin a pea, yep a garden variety, or in our case a freezer variety pea, and drop it into the tank. Peas don't float so this takes care of the swim bladder thing as well. The fish then gets really excited about a new something to eat and gobbles up/down the pea, and it acts as a laxative. Fish ex-lax.

So I run home, nuke a couple of peas, peel them and throw them into the tank. Phish goes nuts and eats both peas in one swim by.

Waiting... watching...No poop. I was waiting for a miracle here, and expecting immediate results...We did just loose the bunny...can't loose the fish.

Life starts going as life does and Phish starts swimming normally. So I assumed that his little swim bladder was full and he has past his gas in a fish way and it was over. ( the thought runs through my head at this point, if that is where all of the bubbles in the tank come from...)

Sunday the sideways swimming starts again, so knowing exactly what to do, I nuke two peas, peel them, toss them to the fish and move on with Sunday things.

Monday... in between running Elleory to the Physical Therapist, tanning, picking Elleory up, and going to the eye doctor for myself, I stop at the house to get Anders his warm milk. (Yes, I take the time to heat that kid's drink up every time we wants one...don't ask...) As Phish lives on the kitchen counter, right next to the microwave, I see him quite often...So today, out of his tiny, little fish body is hanging the biggest thing I've ever seen come out of Phish.

"Oh holy Moses!" comes out of my mouth. (Well, not ACTUALLY Moses... I've edited the actual word as Brian is somewhat offended by what I actually said.) Phish is pooping his intestine! I'm sure of it. I'm watching him swim very quickly back and forth across the tank. Zipping back and forth, I'm totally sure in complete pain and anguish.

"This can't be good" and "I wonder how you put a fish out of it's misery?" are next out of my mouth.

THEN...the miracle occurs...Phish is done pooping and starts to swim around, normally, and with a big relived smile on his fishy face. "Thanks for the peas, Mom! They really worked!" He says. "Oh by the way, could you feed me now?"

So now you know, If your fish needs to poop, give him a pea. Magic!

Gardening Dilemma

2009-03-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

Our garden 2006

A very good year.

It's time to start our garden. The frost is starting to be less frequent and the plants that can handle it are asking to be put out so they can grow. I'm starting to consider the what's and where's. I'm getting antsy for the process.

ON THE OTHER HAND...

We are leaving our garden for the whole month of July. What is the point of all of the sweat and prayers if the neighborhood kid is going to forget to water? Maybe I'm getting lazy or cynical, or (gasp) BOTH...

So here it is the dilemma... to garden or not.

Funny, but I'm not having this internal debate over the flowers.

What Family Home Evening really looks like in the trenches.

2009-03-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

So here it is... the real deal. Family Home Evening at our house. I apologize because I'm singing, which I ONLY do at home, for reasons that are apparent. (I'm also laughing which doesn't help matters...) Liam is saying "SHOP!", which is his way of saying stop. It comes out a little bit like shut-up, which is appropriate also. Liam was a bit upset which our choice of music this particular evening. Enjoy the chaos!

We do...

Probably the Reason My Boys Are Still Alive...

2009-03-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

TODAY...

A.) They napped... both of them.

B.) They are just so stinkin' cute...asleep.

C.) They have the funniest ideas...

They wanted to "camp" and get out of the "rain". It wasn't raining...yet, when they went down, but that is the new game this week. "Help it's raining..."

I probably ought to include a picture of the swath of destruction, but Anders (really) helped me clean up after he was done with his nap. The miracle couldn't have come at a better time. Liam woke up cranky, and wanted ice cream for dinner. We had ice cream for dinner. It's just been one of those days.

Anders-ism: I asked him this morning if we should have green beer with our lunch because it's leprechaun day.
He said "No..."
I said "Because we don't drink beer?"
He says, "Because we don't drink green."
OK then...

Dr. Seuss by Osmosis

2009-03-11T13:58:00.001-07:00

Liam's not a big reader. He really doesn't sit still long enough to enjoy a book. I stick them in his bed to give him something to do before he naps or goes to sleep for the night.

Now I know what he does...
I'm just wondering how long he actually slept on these books before he got uncomfortable and moved. I just took the pictures and left. Somethings you just don't disturb.

An Inspiring Idea

2009-03-07T18:12:00.000-08:00

This past week Brian and I went to a very interesting event in Seattle. It was an evening with Matt Flannery, CEO and co-founder of an organization called Kiva. His company is a not-for-profit lending organization focused on micro finance. It was a truly inspirational evening.

Are you aware that for MOST of the world outside of the United States people survive on less than two dollars a day, and that a loan of $25 can change an entire families prospects? $25 dollars is the difference between scraping by, and doing well. It is the means to start a small business that allows children to attend school, allows a mother the dignity of a better living for her children, buys a bus ticket for a woman to go directly to the lake to buy fish from the fishermen, instead of using a middleman, who make a huge profit, while she makes only enough for necessities, but not enough to get ahead.

I sat during his talk and did quick calculations in my head. I spend around 25 dollars a day, just feeding my family. I don't "own" my own home, so there is a daily living expense to add, I put gas in my car to run my kids to preschool, music lessons, McDonald's... things I feel very blessed to be able to have and do. But there is NO WAY my family could live on less than $2 a day. Not even less than $10 a day. We are considerably lucky, and it's time to let others know.

Please go to www.kiva.org and look around at the people who have gone to a lender in their area, and who qualify for a micro loan. People who could benefit from our wealth. 98% of this money gets paid back with in a year. Really. It is for us, the people lending, a donation we would get back. You can choose to with drawl your money when you get repaid, or redistribute the funds to someone else who could benefit. There is no interest earned. This is a non-profit group. All of the people who qualify for a loan are screened and hoping to start legitimate businesses, people who just need a little help to make their lives better.

I'm making an effort to "find" some money. Please join me. Make someones life easier.

The Picture Every Mother Needs...

2009-03-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

for senior year book dedication pages, wedding receptions, etc...

P.S. This was a total false alarm...delay tactic, pajama time, death bed repentance "go pee pee on the potty". All Liam's idea. No actual peeing involved.

Can I just tell you how much...

2009-03-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

I love blog 'time out'??

I can hear my kids, down stairs with Brian, getting ready for bed, having the last snack of the day, and here I sit...reading and catching up with my sisters and dear friends...in blog 'time out'. AND, I wasn't even naughty...

Beautiful Day...

2009-03-02T14:04:00.000-08:00

I don't have any pictures to post. I'm sure you're SO amazed by that revelation... Kate doesn't take pictures?!? Not often... mostly I just don't remember to.

We had a beautiful lunch time at the park today, at the request of Anders. We had nothing else to do so we stopped on the way home from speech. It was marvelous. Warm, and sunny. The boys played for well over a hour, with each other. I couldn't tell if it was the sunshine glinting off their blond heads or if they had little halos today. I've never actually seen them be so sweet to each other. They played the funniest game. "QUICK! The dinosaurs are coming..." Where they would slide down the slide and then yell "Quick! The dinosaurs are coming" then run around the park screaming, climb up the slide and start all over again. Magic.

My favorite line of the day was Anders to Liam
"Liam, trust me..." (HHHMMM, Suspect...) He is actually quoting Aladdin. Still...

I LOVE SPRING TIME!

Weekend With One of My Favorite Guys

2009-02-25T11:00:00.000-08:00

I heart little old men. Let's be honest...I heart men. But, I HEART little old men.

I figured out this weekend why... I LOVE my Grandpa. He is just so cool. I wish I could share him with every one, but I'm really gonna be selfish and keep him. But I'll expound on why I love him so much.

Grandpa Bruce isn't a lecturer. His whole life is a quiet example of happiness. I watched this weekend and hopefully learned from his example. First... enjoy your children. (As this is my New Year's Resolution, I paid attention.) Second... everyone is worthy of love, and acceptance. No matter how they live(d) there life. Third... serve others. Fourth... don't take naps in bed. You will eventually die in bed. Fifth... do not fear death, everyone is going to die. (But you do have a say in the arrangements.) Sixth... enjoy yourself. Drink enough water, have a martini (or an acceptable to your life style drink) by 4:30 pm and set out bowls of chocolate around your home. Preferably where you can easily reach them, from any sitting position. Don't limit yourself, because, sooner or later your going to die... and while you may not have any regrets, you will always regret not having had enough chocolate. (He never actually said this, but I assumed...) Seventh... Even if you are full, don't pass up a hot fudge sundae. Eighth... Just don't slow down or give up.

Maybe all of this wisdom comes with age... Maybe it's just Grandpa. I'm just infinitely thankful to know this guy. He's a rock star!

I'm Possessed...

2009-02-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

That is the only reason I can think of this morning for my willingness to SHAVE ANDERS HEAD before bed last night!!!

It all started out innocently enough with Liam getting a little trim after his bath. Then the persistent nagging started... "I want my hair to stick up like Daddy... My turn for a hair cut... you need those buzzers to make my hair stick up like Daddy's..." So on, and etc.

So I did it. I got out the clippers and got started.

I panicked as the beautiful blond inches fell to the floor. What am I doing?!!? But I couldn't stop... (Brain and heart were screaming STOP, STOP, STOP...Hand, laughing like manic mad scientist yelling back NO. NO. NO!!!) It was like my hands were working independently.

Anders giggled all the way through. (I was COMPLETELY SURE that he would panic at the clippers and we would stop...) Laughed at his reflection in the mirror, and then announced it was time to go to bed. No thanks to the ice cream...

He was asleep before Brian got home, and I was in utter shock. I dreamed about it all night. I can't believe I did it. I'd almost rather that he asked to have his lip pierced, or a tattoo on his forehead.

I found, however, a Bergholm hiding under all of that beautiful hair. I'm not sure that he has any Johnson at all. In fact I was beginning to wonder if he is even my child when I saw THE COWLICK. The Corbin cowlick right in front, in the middle, standing straight up. I started to feel a little better after I found that.

Not much...

I probably will never be able to cut his hair again. Totally scarred for life.

What I Came Home To...

2009-02-23T16:18:00.000-08:00

I'm always happy to see my sweet children when I've been gone from them for a while. I went to visit my Grandpa Bruce this past weekend, and came home to a very clean house, and happy and well cared for little men, who where glad to see me. I found them under the train table Monday morning playing quietly... and NOT getting into any trouble... AMAZING

Tribute to a Dead Friend

2009-02-23T16:17:00.000-08:00

We had to put our Talulah Bunny to sleep this past week. He was a very old man and was suffering. Elleory made the very hard and grown-up decision to end his suffering, and was a total trooper and stayed with him until the very end. He was 10 years old, which the vet informed us is almost totally unheard of...Bunnies usually live to be 7 at the most. I guess it was all of Elleory's good care. We will miss him.

AAARRRR Matey...

2009-02-16T21:15:00.000-08:00

We have a pretty hard and fast (read bendable because Mom and Dad are complete suckers...) law around the kiki. If you are in bed, asleep, you can have your kiki. Anders has always been very clever in finding the loop holes. If he doesn't make it in engineering, he'll probably be a very talented lawyer. This is the newest loop hole... "if I'm sleeping, like a pirate with one eye closed, then I can have my kiki AND watch a movie with my open eye. That way I'm 1). on the couch asleep, with one eye, and 2). entertained with the other eye open. The best of both worlds..."

Not the exact wording but pretty darn close. We'll have to, as the supreme court, review this loop hole and make a more firm decision about the faulty far left-wing rationale. He gets this ability to rationalize from his proud Mother, who would also make a great lawyer...

Random Rambling and Stuff...

2009-02-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

This is the "after" picture of the big hair cut in December. The before and during picture contain nudity, not appropriate for the Internet. I cut about 5 inches of length off of Anders hair and about 3 off of Liam's. I was totally traumatized. It's just now that I am able to speak of it. He looked so cute afterward, but you can't see the back. I loved his long hair, but Brian just couldn't handle it anymore. Since the initial cut he has had one more, and keeps asking me to cut it even shorter, "just like Daddy, sticking up." Liam is in desperate need of another cut... I'll get around to it. I'm just afraid that he will lose his curls. I'm just taking my time, enjoying their pretty hair.
Anders and Elleory are at a point in their relationship that they play together, building things with Lego's, Tinker Toys, Linkin Logs. Whatever builds. This is the crane they built one day during Christmas break. It worked...

Growing up my sisters and I would make "cloth-cloth bikinis" (cloth-cloth is Johnson for washcloth, which is another thing that just popped up.) in the bathtub. I guess it's genetic... The boys in their "cloth-cloth shirts". They stick them on and laugh and laugh when they fall off. It's just amazing to me what comes back from my childhood, without my urging. You can see the back of Anders mullet. Remember I cut off 5 inches... I love this hair!! It's even shorter now. Sob, sob, sob...

Had to Laugh.

2009-02-13T16:19:00.000-08:00

I was just leaving a comment on my dear friend Heather's blog. It's Ellen interviewing this old lady...very funny. Just click on her name above to go to her site, and watch it. Pretty funny.

Anyway... the pass word to post my comment was "forinpoo". I couldn't see because I was laughing pretty hard and the tears were rolling down my face. I know, I have the maturity level of a twelve year old boy...

Destruction is Imminent

2009-02-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

Oh... today was just one of those days.

We had a great morning, I ran, went to math groups, got home to hugs from the boys, then we went off to women's study group. The boys went to the play room, I went to learn about Isaiah. Rough subject, but we have a teacher who really L-O-V-E-S Isaiah. Today we talked about his children (sons, because daughters are never mentioned in scripture...don't get me started.) and the symbolism of their names. Isaiah's second son was named for a prophecy regarding the destruction of Israel by Assyria. Basically it boils down to this... the Lord tells Isaiah, the Assyrians are coming, I'm going to help them, they won't get Jerusalem because the king is a good man...Destruction is imminent. Oh and by the way... Please see/know your wife now and name your child after this prophecy. Maher-shalal-hash-baz. Interesting lesson... took lots of notes. I was thinking that it would make a great t-shirt for toddlers, just the Hebrew name.

The boys ask me for rolly-pollies on the way home for lunch. For those not versed in Bergholm kid, they were asking for ravioli. WOW! Not McDonald's! So we head home, I start the water to boil, and chaos ensues...

First Liam pulls a chair up to the stove to see what is going on. My new parenting philosophy is this "whatever keeps you from screaming, kid." I standing right next to him and I'm telling him HOT, HOT, HOT! (and making lemonade from scratch, because we are out of juice.) Then Anders starts in on a "project". He is going to hang up the art work from school on the fridge and he needs tape. So I'm an octopus...Here's more tape, don't touch the stove, don't touch the fruit, don't squeeze the fruit... don't throw the fruit... More tape... Oops! Tape is twisted, let me fix that...

"Mama, HOT!!!" I smell skin burning. Liam has finally touched the burner. He is NOT crying... I get him to the sink, pulling the chair behind me with my foot, he is still not crying. I turn on the water and for the first time EVER, he won't put his hand into running water. The burn is only the very tip of his finger, but it's already a blister. So I fill up a glass with cold water and he puts his hand right in.

Because Liam's on a chair, automatically means Anders need to join him, so the pushing ensues and the GLASS glass falls into the sink breaking the dishes it falls on. LOVELY... Crying kids, burnt finger, pasta on the stove... So I clean up the glass debris. Drain the pasta, serve lunch... Calm...

"I need POOH!" Liam starts in. So seeing that he is done eating his lunch, I turn on Pooh. The VCR heads need to be cleaned. I start digging around for the tape, find it and proceed to clean the heads. Liam is screaming at this point "POOH! NO OTHER MOVIE! POOH..." Finally the heads are clean (after two runs of the cleaner.) and I hear right behind me, gag, gag, gag, splat. Anders has been choking on a rolly-poly, and has thankfully gotten it up, along with most of his lunch.

"My juice comed out!" Sob, sob, sob... and he had tried to catch it with his hands. Then he notices that it's on his hands and the flapping starts. The slow motion "NOOOO" starts out of my mouth and I'm running for towels, wet wipes, anything... Flap, flap, flap... Barf everywhere.

I get that mess cleaned up...Anders calmed down, and changed into clean clothes, and realize Liam is way too quiet.

He is completely asleep right in front of the TV. Just inches from the place were Anders just puked. Maybe five minutes into POOH.

I put Liam in bed, carried Anders and Pooh into my bedroom, (with barf bowl) put Pooh into my TV, and crawled into my bed next to him. I pulled the covers over my head and took a nap. Anders watched Pooh.

38 minutes from the time we walked through the door.

Maher-shalal-hash-baz...

Proud Mama...

2009-02-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

Here's the story, and sadly because you don't get the facial expressions and sound effects, it might just come across gross instead of hilarious.

Liam is a long waker. He likes to sit in his bed for a while after waking up in the morning or from a nap. He just hangs out...inventories all of his crib stuff. "Four green blankets, still here. Blaaah the sock martian, got him. One, two, three kiki's... they all still suck fine. Better put one by the wall, and one under my pillow, in case I need it for later." The post-resting ritual can go on for upwards of twenty minutes.

I was sitting on Anders bed yesterday waiting him out, just chatting with my little men, Anders was jumping on the bed, and Liam was just sitting in his crib. My attention was split between them as Anders would say "look Mama!" and do a belly flop, or sit down. Liam was just looking around, patting his blankets... picking his nose... Out of the corner of my eye I see the finger go up the nose, and quick as a flash, go into the mouth. And yes... he got a pretty big one...

"Liam, yucky... don't eat your boogers! kkahhgggahh." (Gag, gag, gag.)

"UUUMMM, Yummy sammie. MMMMM. Slurp."

(I wish I could make "slurp" sound like it did coming out of his mouth. Imagine soup... l o n g strands of spaghetti...sssllluuurrrppp. But more of the sucking sound. This particular sound is a preschool sound. One that is used with the pretend food in the pretend kitchen. His teachers use it to encourage less mouthing of toys and more pretend eating.)

Anyway back to the story... How could I do anything but laugh? He had that LOOK OF LOVE on his face, and his come back was priceless.

So, he has had the positive response to the negative behavior, and will probably be one of THOSE men that pick their noses in their car for the rest of his life. Oh well, I guess truth be told we all still pick our noses.

At least I have a story to share with the entire world. I will definitely tell his kids about it. Probably break it out at his wedding too...

Good News! A little Halloween in February!!!

2009-02-03T16:17:00.000-08:00

I recommend books to others frequently. I've been telling everyone I know about The Graveyard Book since October. I need to STRESS to everyone who, strangely, still have not read it, it's time... It just won the 88th Newbery Medal.... Like you need another reason to enjoy the book.

Congratulations Neil Gaiman, (I say this like I know him.) It's a wonderfully delightful book.

Plus, It will be a movie soon, and I'm sure you all know about my book before the movie O.C.D. thing. I'm not taking anybody who hasn't read the book first. Sorry!

ALSO... Coraline comes out on Friday, which means you still have time to read THAT book before you RUN, (not walk) to see that movie.

Enjoy both.

Sounding Educated

2009-01-30T15:16:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, Anders is now dealing with some of the same asthma stuff that Elleory dealt with earlier this winter. Thank goodness, we have not been to the hospital with him; we caught it very early. He is having a breathing treatment every 4 hours, and one dose of a steroid a day. This kid is flyin'... The upside is he's eating, just about every thing he can get into his mouth. The downside is he is having a hard time controlling his little body and falling asleep. But once he's asleep, he's out for the night. He is even sleeping through his treatments at night. Which, in the grand scheme of things is really wonderful because I can then fall right back to sleep also.

I have had a conference with his doctor every day now for three days. Let me tell ya...there is nothing better than sounding educated when you are talking to a professional. I love it.
"Yes, Doctor. Anders is breathing much easier, the Dexamethasone is working, but he is still pulling with his auxiliary muscles when he is breathing." I sound like I know what I'm talking about! Which truth be told, I'm totally quoting things I've heard on E.R. and hoping I don't sound ridiculous. I do however know what I'm talking about because I've been listening AND paying attention at the hospital, AND the doctor's office, AND reading up on the subject. It's amazing what you can do when you (can) pay attention.

It's nice to sound intelligent, every once in a while.

AAAHHHH....Bliss.

2009-01-29T18:16:00.000-08:00

I got my Zune back. It's fixed. I can dance in my kitchen, I can run 10 miles, I can breathe...

AAAHHHH....

Microsoft should have called it ZEN instead of Zune, maybe that's what they were going for.

Primary Answers

2009-01-27T14:57:00.000-08:00

Anders is working on the L sound. So we are saying a lot of words with L sounds at the front, middle and ending. For example...Liam instead of Wee-um. Plane instead of Pwane. It's an interesting sound made by bringing your tongue up to the roof of your mouth and pressing it right behind your front teeth. I'm pretty sure you know how to make the sound.

At speech therapy on Monday we were talking about pLanes, and Liam, and pLaying with puzzLes. On of the puzzLes had a picture of a pLane on it. I asked Anders

"Who just came on a pLane to visit you?"

He thinks about it for a few seconds and then says as clear as a beLL, "Jesus!"

Jackie, our speech therapist just about wet her pants. It was I have to admit a proud moment for me as the Mom. The perfect primary answer to a question that was probably pretty hard to come up with an answer for, and he said 'Jesus' for the first time instead of 'Sheus'.

What a great day!

My Kiki

2009-01-25T20:53:00.000-08:00

I'm struggling to cope with life.

Before you all start to worry, I'm actually fine. I don't need a prescription for Prozac or Valium. I don't even need a therapist for this. Just a little panic button pushing.

I've lost my Kiki. That's what all of my kids have called their pacifiers. I have a Kiki... it's electric blue, and holds everything I need to hear, read, enjoy, watch, view... My Kiki's hard drive went out and I had to send it to some unknown location in Texas by FedEx to have it repaired. It's thankfully under warranty. I check my email each day for a progress report; arrived at destination, check. Reviewed by repair guy, check. Repair guy makes repair, check. Kiki shipped back home, check. Relaxing, breathing easier...

Will arrive in 3-5 business days. Aaarrrggg!!!

It's a weekend, FedEx delivers on the weekends right?!? NO!!! I'm almost ready to curl up into a ball under my dining room table like my three-year-old does to try to pull myself back together. Doesn't someone at the repair place realize I'm trying to train for a 10k? Don't they know that the gym is horribly boring with out access to the TV/radio channels?!? Don't they know that I'm really not attached to anything else remotely mechanical?!? Doesn't anyone care that I also gave up diet coke this week?!? PANIC...

oh, and I have to be home to sign for it when it does arrive.

MORE PANIC... don't they realize I have a life?!? This leads me to the most vital question...What will I do when I have to cross the prairie to join the saints in Zion and I can't recharge it because I don't have electricity and it runs out after only six hours of musical enjoyment? OR more importantly...what if my actual computer hard drive fails, or the world Internet goes down and I can't PUT anything else into it and I have to listen to what I have for the rest of my life?

PANIC BUTTON...

All of this over my Zune. Which I love, by the way.

I guess when the economy is a little better, I'll buy a back-up. Motherhood has taught me the value of a back up Kiki. I guess Uncle Bill is trying to teach me a lesson as well, back-up, back-up, back-up. President Hinckley also was trying to teach me a lesson when he said "Save a little something for a rainy day".... it's raining!

Really, I'm OK.

Reaping the Whirlwind

2009-01-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

Whatever that means...

I think that every parent should have an extra week to get everything back together after one's children have any amount of time off of school. The clean-up certainly takes that long. In my case I would like to take two weeks, paid, to get my ducks back into theirs particular rows. This is of course, a child-free two weeks and did I mention, PAID??? Pipe dream, I know....

ANDERS-ISM....

Anders asked today (we just took the tree down on Saturday) when Santa is coming back. I told him No tree... No Santa. Long thought process, visible cogs turning. "We should put the tree back up."

One whole week of snow...every day

2008-12-25T16:43:00.000-08:00

Sledding at the volcano park. Pretty great sled hill, Liam loved it Anders went down once and said no more, thank you. Elleory has been sledding outside so much that we have had to put our foot down and make her come home to eat, and participate with us in pre-Christmas fun stuff. She has a lot of friends in the neighborhood who are out sledding and sliding with her.
Anders is our little worker bee, He LOVES to scoop the snow, I think he has shoveled the sidewalk in front of the house as many times as Brian has. As long as snow isn't falling on him from the sky, he is happy to be outside. He however HATES his snow suit, and wants to be cold. ("NO pants! I want to be cold.") He insists on having his "kiki" so his mouth stays warm.
Kid logic...

We had a great big wind storm one night that blew all of the snow off the roofs, and made these awesome drifts in the back yard. Then it snowed on top of them again, and again, and again...

Liam LOVES snow. He loves his snow suit, and his coat, he LOVES his boots. He loves everything about this weather. He loves to lay in it, to play in it, to eat it...

Christmas Day 2008. Yet another 6 inches if snow. Beautiful white Christmas!

Bring it on Garden Gnome!

2008-12-25T15:04:00.001-08:00

Anders, Mommy, and Daddy had an epic snow ball fight while building snowmen in the front yard.

How could this angel be so naughty???

2008-12-25T13:37:00.000-08:00

Liam has 364 and 1/2 days to make up for this morning. So far, for next year, Santa is bringing him coal. We've already received the phone call.

Please pray for him...

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

(I'm posting this for journaling reasons... Most of you will receive a copy of this in the mail. Enjoy again.)

So I've started our Christmas Letter a few times today... The first said "Merry Christmas! To our Family and Friends" Then the scream comes from downstairs.
"MOM!!! Liam's done..."
So I clean up that mess, and go back to start again. "Hello to our dear ones"... to yet another,
"MOM!! Liam's doing this…"
So needless to say after cleaning up the junk drawer from off of the floor, and wrestling away a pack of gum (chewed, with wrappers on), picking up and re-folding the laundry, unclogging the toilet, putting the decorations BACK on the Christmas tree, all the while trying to let you all know we are alive and well, isn't going to happen this year. I give up. Liam needs way more attention than one ten year old and a video can give him.

We are indeed alive and well. Elleory is a bit frazzled from being Mama’s helper but I’m sure she will survive, and a pedicure bribe won’t hurt. Liam might survive until he's two...his college fund won't. It will go straight to all of the damage he does to our home. Anders is at times a very mellow three year old, who loves to color and sit and do piecezzles (puzzles). He usually add commentary to the Liam episodes like
"Liam, leave the tree alone, or Mama's gonna take Christmas away!" Which has NEVER actually come out of my month, but I totally laugh at it. Or my personal favorite,
"Liam, Mama's gonna spank you in the butt!"
So as you can see things just go at our house, expectations, dreams of peace, and harmony...yep they go... right out the window! I'd love to write the traditional letter, telling you all about the year, but this is a way better picture.
Please take time to catch up with us at our blog, (which I update during Liam's nap time.) www.icebergstockholm.blogspot.com you’ll get a big picture of the year, and how things are (really) going, a little window into each family member’s life.
We love each of you, and wish you Joy, and Peace and Harmony in your home.

Merry Christmas!
Love, the Bergholms

A little bit about Brian...

2008-12-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

Because I never seem to mention him. One year for Valentines day he asked me to write him a letter, which I'm proud to report, I did. I'm doing it again this year as part of his Christmas present. So bare with the mush, this is more for him than for you. (Two things first, I'm bound, just by opening my proverbial mouth, to say something to embarrass him and secondly, I'll probably tell a gross lie. Because, in my lack of understanding his job, calling, etc, I will get something wrong.) That being said...

I love Brian! And I wish I had more to talk about concerning him. Honestly it not because he's never home, because he is, he just rarely does anything stupid enough to write about. He NEVER runs around the house with his undies on his head. He doesn't really have any free time to read books, so therefore can't expound about them. He still hasn't read and is not interested in Twilight. He is tired enough most of the time to only make it half way through any given movie.

He can however tell you what is happening in the markets, why the price of gas, corn, gold, is raising, falling, stable, who is doing well in which division, playing which sport. What the price of Microsoft stock is at this very moment, who is giving a talk on Sunday in church, and what the weather is going to be like in ten minutes. He is also a pretty good judge of how long it will take him to drive home from work, and from what I hear from the guys at church, he plays basketball well and is always very polite on the court. He very rarely drinks anything but water, and he looks great in Jeans. ( Just thought you'd like to know.) He is also a really particular photographer, so he runs the camera most of the time. We don't have many pictures of him, because I'm NOT a very discerning photographer, (or housekeeper) so most of my pictures of him get deleted, because I took a picture of him standing in front of all of the junk on the counter etc...

Brian is a good man, a great father, a fantastic worker, and a true asset to our lives. He is in his third year working for Microsoft. I still have no idea just what exactly he does, but I'm pretty sure he does it pretty well. He is working as the second counselor to our Bishop at church which is a very big responsibility. He enjoys that work, and I think if he had the choice and the means, he would do only volunteer work. I admire this about him. (Being a full time volunteer, I just want a job that pays me...LOL)

I'm really blessed to have Brian in my life. I'm fairly certain the kids feel the same way. We are pretty lucky. I love you, Baby!

The Art of Racing in the Rain

2008-12-17T15:27:00.000-08:00

I actually took the time this week to sit down and read a book. Our Christmas stuff is done, packages sent (that is a blog for another time.), kids presents wrapped, stocking stuffer's bought, Christmas Eve and Christmas dinners' planned (but not shopped for.) neighborhood gifts done, the list could go on and on, but I'm done gloating.... So I sat down to read a book.

This is a book that my friend Tommy told me about several months ago, and that has been on my wait list at the library for MONTHS, I finally got sick of waiting, and borrowed Tommy's copy, only for the copy I'd ordered to show up at the library. (I was a little afraid to open the book as the cover picture looks just like Harley, and I still get a little teary about him.) I could not put this book down. It was amazing. I cried all the way through the first chapter, I cried in the middle, I cried all the way through the last chapter, and at places between. I cheered on the protagonist out-loud on a couple of occasions. In short, I love this book.

I don't want to spoil it, if you decide to read it. The story is basically this... the struggles of a family as told from the perspective of the family dog. A highly human dog who is obsessed with opposable thumbs, and saying the right things, at the right time. It is told on the eve of his death, as a remembrance of the things he has learned about being a man, because he is certain that he will come back to earth as a man, after his life as a dog. It is a beautiful story, and make you wonder just how much the family dog understands. Interlaced into the story are life lessons he has learned from his owner, Denny who is a semiprofessional race car driver. The most true of all is the adage, "the car goes where your eyes go." Which is so true of life. Your life goes where your eyes go...gives you a lot to think about, huh?

For those of you who need to know before hand... there is swearing, and I'm fairly certain that someone takes the Lord's name at some point.

The name of the book is The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. Hope you read it... it would be fun to discuss it with someone.

Plunk and Plug

2008-12-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

We go each year to the great after Christmas sales and generally score some pretty cool stuff for way cheap. Last year we picked up a new Pre-lit Christmas tree for 17 bucks... We figured that A.) it was pre-lit...not a whole lot of work, and B.) If the boys destroy it, it was only 17 bucks.

This purchase has revolutionized how Brian and I look at Christmas!! PRE-LIT... who knew?!? Everything should come this way. We have decided that 'Plunk and Plug' is our new Christmas decoration motto. I'm even all for not putting up lights on the house next year. I'm sure we'll be able to find something that we can just take out of the box, and 'plunk and plug'. Instant Christmas, no fuss.

This leads me to wonder...Are we getting old before our time, or are we falling into the lazy trap. OR... are we just realizing that we have WAY better things to do with the little time we have before Christmas? I'd like to think it's the last suggestion. Our little men are really enjoying our new Christmas tree. Especially the turning it on turning it off part. Brian is really enjoying the 'only took about 30 minutes to get the whole thing going' part. ( Three pieces, Three plugs...ABC, Plunk and Plug...) Elleory is loving that we have a big tree this year. I'm just happy that the boys are not pulling it over...yet.

What I realized as I was decorating the house and setting out our Nativity collections this year is how happy I was with just that. It was easy, and so exciting for the kids, and quite possibly the most calm part of the night. The boys are getting a lot of use out of the little people nativity that my friend Becca sent last year. Liam carries around Baby 'SHESUS' pretty much all the time, and Anders re-arranges it every couple of minutes, and adds new characters. The little ponies, and the cast of Madagascar have been to the stable. ("Holler at your boys"). I'm happy about this because to me that is the real reason we should celebrate Christmas. It's not about the Tree, the lights, the gifts... it's about Baby Jesus, and helping our children to see the importance of that very special event in their lives.

I'm pretty sure that Jesus would approve of our new philosophy of 'plunk and plug', he might even add "take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy your kids" too.

News!!

2008-12-08T07:46:00.000-08:00

I was driving home this morning from the gym, and heard that New Moon the new Twilight movie will have a different director!! Yea! That's it...

At The Park With Daddy

2008-12-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

I think everyone should have a video like this in their collection. I warn the boys every time we go to the park not to walk in front of the swings....

Possibly I need to talk to Brian as well.

Captain Underpants and El Nacho Libre

2008-12-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

This was our post-Thanksgiving dinner entertainment this year. Anders got big-boy undies, and wanted to open the package to show "Tolten" (Our neighbors' son Colton, in the red undies). The boys actually decided to put the "hats" on themselves. All of the adults in the house were laughing/crying...it was a riot. I thought I'd share these with the entire world, and not wait for their wedding days. (By the way... I do have one picture of Elleory with the pants on her head also, but we will try to save her dignity, as she is a bit older...)

Liam, Anders, and Colton

Anders looking his most savvy AND intelligent.

Captain Underpants

El Nacho Libre

We of course egged this whole thing on by taking pictures. But why not?!? Save the memory for posterity, so when our grandchildren are wondering WHY their parents are so very weird, I can pull out the pictures and say "That's why!"

We finally helped him figure out the real use for undies. Cute butt!

Anders calls these the "Whyking-Queen diaper".

I'm thankful for a good laugh with friends this year.

Snow, Snow, Snow!!

2008-11-30T17:04:00.000-08:00

I'm home for the weekend for my sister Julie's new baby Mya's Blessing. It's a little like a christening in other churches except no baptism, because we don't believe that babies need to be baptized. Her husband Brian gave Mya a beautiful Blessing, and because this is a big family event, pretty much everyone has come to visit. It has been really wonderful to see my family. I love hanging out with my sisters (and Kir) and my mom, who still wins hand and foot every stinking time we play...

The best part has been waking up to snow each morning. The weather man predicted 1-3 inches and really only a 40 percent chance, if that. So it was a real surprise to wake up to it. I miss the snow, and I mean the REAL stuff, not the two inches we get in Seattle occasionally. I mean the BIG snow...put a base in the mountains snow, the "how fast can we get to the resort to go boarding" kind of snow. That is the kind of snow I miss. It's also the kind of snow that makes you wonder how much milk you have on hand, because it's not worth the work to go to the store to get more.

Really the ONLY thing missing is Harley...He loved to play in the snow.

We (this is a grand we, because I was still in the house) got Daddy's tractor stuck this morning plowing the driveway so we could leave for church, and it was a pretty slippery drive. But oh so much fun. It is still snowing a little bit now as I'm writing at 6pm and we have around two feet of snow. Mom and Dad are at the airport with my brother Doug, I'm assuming that he is leaving, and that his flight has not been cancelled, we haven't heard from them.

I took pictures for my little family back in Seattle so that they could enjoy the snow too.

This was Saturday's snow. It was gone by the time the sun went down.

This was this mornings snow, I took the pictures around 10 am. We couldn't see the mountains in the distance. Sadly, not snowman snow. Just powder.

Oh...Twilight

2008-11-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

First I'm going to start out saying HOW VERY MUCH I love the Twilight BOOKS. I think Stephenie Meyer did an awesome job with the story, the characters, creating a world with in a world. Fantastic... I always have something to read, Thanks Stephenie.

That being said, I thought the movie was pathetic. It was frustrating to me that it was almost a parody of the book. In fact the whole group of women I saw it with, we pretty much just laughed (hysterically) our way through it. Poorly directed, over-acted in very crucial scenes, so much so that it striped them of their power, and Bad, Bad Edward. Not even remotely cute... BAD BAD Jasper. What was with HIS hair and the bug eyes? Did the director forget Jasper has the calming influence on everyone? He looked like a paranoid drug addict. Aaahhh, I missed Alice, the way she is written, and when in the books was Charlie an Alcoholic??

I did like Bella, I thought she was OK, I think the brooding- trying -to- figure- out-Edward shots were very good. Maybe the only part of the movie that was truly true to the feel of the story. I do have to say I did enjoy the "Bad Guys" they did the best acting in the whole movie.

So going into it, I had very low expectations...I knew this was a teen movie. But I think that the director forgot that at least half of the Twilight fan are adults. I'm hoping that if they do the next book into a movie, they get a new director, or more budget or something... maybe they will "Hulk" it and start over with a new cast (except Bella) new writer (maybe Stephenie) and maybe just maybe, they will actually film it in Forks?

It is scheduled to make 70 million on opening weekend, and I do plan on seeing it again with my Mom and Sisters this next weekend... if only for a laugh.